When Immortal Ascension Fails Time Travel to Try Again

Story 10 - The Spy Who Rocked Too Hard (30?)

Story 10 - The Spy Who Rocked Too Hard (30?)

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It was finally time to get the band together! Muahahaha!

I stood in the middle of the sound-proofed outdoor practice area Dread Lotus had rented for us. The location had a stone floor, several environmental controlling formations to help with acoustics, and a noise-concealing formation for privacy. However, what made it special, and probably cost my new friend a shit load of contribution points, was the view between the trees and the ocean. From this high up, I could even make out the extra shallow curve of the massive planet we were on.

But this view, while nice, wasn’t that important. My bandmates were about to meet for the first time. Unfortunately, the last band I helped get together it didn’t go well. At least, not at first. There was something about the personality of four arts cultivators that often made them arrogant as fuck. This lead to some of them having massive fights over artistic differences.

These weren’t small arguments either.

Rappers from my past-past life thought they had hardcore beefs, but they had nothing on these musical cultivators who literally killed with their songs.

One of my students who swore his way was better wrote a rock song that dissed his enemy. It caused her to go deaf for several hours. Well, technically, if I hadn’t put up a shield in time, she would have bled from all seven orifices.

But they were still mostly good kids.

Now I had to consider if Dread Lotus, Gold String Delicate Touch and Azure Melodic River’s would immediately butt heads.

With my luck? Yeah, they probably would.

Bringing these three together without too much drama would be difficult, especially for me. However, it was doable. And, thankfully, musicians didn’t have to like each other on a personal level to produce good music. Though it helped.

While I had the hardest time getting Gold String to join, I doubted that he’d be hard to work with. I just had to keep in mind that he strived to become stronger at all costs — even becoming a disciple in an unorthodox sect instead of a righteous one because they had more powerful techniques. The only reason he joined me was because I showed him how kick-ass I could make him through the power of rock.

I was most worried about Azure Melodic River. She was laid back. Possibly too laid back. That would get on Dread Lotus’s nerves since she’s now healthy and seems ready to get shit started. And if I considered River’s communication style, that was a little too suggestive... I’d need to keep my eye on her to make sure she respected Dread Lotus at all times.

What a fuckin hassle. But it would be worth it as long as we cure Ghosty and spread the Dao of Rock.

Azure Melodic River flew over on her upside-down keyboard. I hadn’t designed it to be used like that but, whatever worked was fine.

She touched down and — using a kick that reminded me of a skateboarder from my past-past life — flipped her instrument over. “Junior Linlin! I’m surprised you didn’t gather us sooner.”

“Forging instruments takes time.”

“You forge instruments?”

Right, I hadn’t exactly told her that I’d created her keyboard. I’d just mentioned that I’d put something together. “Well, I am this continent’s greatest spiritual tool smith.”

The look of doubt she sent me was priceless. I almost wanted to see what her expression would be if she ever realized I wasn’t lying and only needed to be Immortal Ascension stage to prove it.

Before she could say something more, Gold String Delicate Touch joined us. He greeted me and bowed to Melodic River. “Senior.”

She looked frustrated but nodded to her junior.

Before she could call me out, I pulled out the shiny new drum set just as Dread Lotus arrived on an adorable lotus-shaped fan. As she dropped from the flying tool, her high-quality red and gold robes fluttered around her.

Dread Lotus grinned. She was definitely enjoying having a healthy body. “Greetings, juniors!”

“Senior Dread Lotus,” we said.

“That is enough formality…. Ooo, what’s this?” She glided over to the drum set and began studying it.

Azure Melodic River grabbed my sleeve tightly and in a high-pitched voice whispered. “That’s Dread Lotus. The Dread Lotus!”

Oh shit. Was she about to start some drama? “She’s joined our band. Do you have a problem with her?”

Her eyes grew wide. “I’m going to get to practice with her?!”

Wait. She wasn’t being her normal cool-ass self. Was she… fangirling? Really?!

“What? Is she famous?”

“Is Dread Lotus famous?” She scoffed. “She’s only the best Foundation Establishment demonic musician in the whole world. I have seen her twice. Every time she’s played... has been a delight, both spiritually and physically. She is the dream and goal of all musical cultivators in our realm.”

Azure Melodic River was way too excited. This could easily lead to problems.

She grabbed my sleeve tighter. “Her health isn’t very good, though. Is she going to be okay?”

“Relax. She’s the healthiest girl in the sect.”

She raised a skeptical brow. “Don’t joke with me right now. I’m very worried about her condition.”

“Trust me.” I pulled her hand off my sleeve and stepped over to Dread Lotus, who had picked up a drumstick and was tapping the leather tops to test them out.

“These drums are so unique. Where did you get them?”

“Actually, I forged these with you in mind. But if you want to try the guitar instead—”

“You made this?!”

I clasped my hands behind my back. “Of course!”

“I knew you were a genius but this...” She looked at the set with greed in her eyes. “Well, I should at least try them, shouldn’t I?”

The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation.

Azure Melodic River took a step forward, hesitated, and then said, “But you pride yourself on your zither performances!”

Her gaze focused on the other girl’s. “Something I learned recently is that demonic musicians don’t have to stick to just one thing.”

She darted up to Azure Melodic River and threw a punch that stopped right in front of her face, causing a rush of air to blow through the woman’s blue hair. Dread Lotus tilted her head and grinned.

Melodic River pressed a hand to her heart. A squeak escaped her.

Huh. I guess I had underestimated Dread Lotus. She could definitely handle things herself.

“Good form,” I said. “Now, let’s start our introductions. Dread Lotus is on drums, if you like them.”

“I love them.”

“Azure Melodic River is on the keyboard. Gold String Delicate Touch is on bass, and I’ll be rocking out on the guitar while singing.”

“Actually,” Azure Melodic River said, “not that you aren’t good, but I’ve heard Dread Lotus. She would be amazing on vocals.”

My friend shrugged one shoulder. “I mean, I could do them.”

“I could sing too,” Gold String said confidently.

All three looked at each other, sizing one another up. I could practically feel the tension in the air.

Fuck. This was the start of the inevitable fight, right? I had to stop it before it started.

“I’m sure all of you could. We can switch up depending on who sounds best for whichever song.” It wasn’t like we were in a professional band from my past-past life that was cultivating a specific sound to be our signature. “But I’ll do the singing for now. You all need to learn these songs first.”

They nodded.

“Then what is our goal for this band?” Gold String asked. “Are we just here to study the Dao of Rock to defeat our enemies?”

I knew it. He wanted to increase his strength.

“Before we get into battle music, we’ll start off with songs that heal souls in the Nascent Soul realm.” Because I needed Ghosty to get better as soon as possible.

Dread Lotus took a step toward me. “Are you serious?!”

“Have you ever heard me joke?”

“Yes.”

I coughed. “Well, I’m not joking about this!”

Gold String frowned. “We could be put in a terrible situation if we know something so powerful, but we can’t defend it.”

The haunted look in his eyes made me think he was speaking from experience.

I pointed to him. “Excellent observation. But you are free to teach these songs to everybody. In fact, please do.”

My three bandmates stared at me with confusion.

“What I want is to spread rock everywhere, to everyone.” So it never dies. “That said, you still need to protect yourself, so if you can comprehend five healing ballads by the end of day tomorrow, I’ll allow you to learn a song so powerful that it will melt your enemy’s face off! And once you master that. I have a few more offensive songs that will get us fighting higher realm opponents.”

Gold String’s gaze became determined. Actually, they all looked at me like I was a treasure inside a secret realm.

Maybe I wouldn’t have to worry about these three not getting along after all?

Since I had to teach Dread Lotus the drums from scratch, I first helped Melodic River and Gold String. I explained each of their parts and played them so they could get a feel of how they should be played. After that, I left them to practice.

It was a good thing this place had a separate sound-concealing formation for just this situation.

After that, I brought Dread Lotus to the drum set and went over each of the strikes she could make.

She started off timidly, hitting the drums, and eventually began to enthusiastically beat them like she was taking out her repressed aggressions on the new spiritual instrument. The sparkle in her eyes grew with every hit the drums were able to take.

I just considered this a test of how sturdy my tool forging was.

The answer: very. Was there any doubt?

“I absolutely love these. They are mine now, right? Right?”

“If you can learn these songs perfectly, I’ll give them to you.”

“I will.”

“But first you need to learn how to practice.”

I taught her how to same way I did with Three Drops. Then I went beyond that and showed her how to separate the set into individual flying parts, and how to use them to capture a target.

Once I’d finished she grabbed my hand. “These are perfect for me! Did you really make these for me?”

“Of course I did!”

She almost jumped with her excitement. “Eeeeee! You are the bestest friend I’ve ever had!”

Ah, was the sun a bit too warm today?

I cleared my throat. “Well, being your friend has already helped me, so, of course, I would want to give you a gift... but you have to learn these next songs perfectly.”

“I will play them so well it will cause problems for the sect!”

How could playing to drums too well cause any problems for the sect? Whatever. As long as Ghosty healed up in the end.

***

After I taught Dread Lotus how to perform her parts, I brought us together. They nervously fiddled with their instruments.

I grinned at the three of them. “The first song we’ll play will be an easy one. Spirit In Repair.” This was a song inspired by John Mayer’s In Repair and was originally written by Irrepressible Soft Twitter.

Of course, since this was our first time playing, we didn’t sound impressive. We didn’t even sound good.

Dread Lotus pouted. “We’re all experts, so I thought we’d play better.”

I scoffed. “You learned a brand new instrument a couple of hours ago. How can you expect to be perfect at it?”

“But I am.”

That... was actually true. Dread Lotus now had a Superior Sounds Body special constitution which allowed her to easily pick up previously unknown instruments and songs. She was faster at learning music than Little Spring, that monster of a protagonist.

“But we’re not perfect together, and that is our biggest issue. We each need to play together with no errors, and with the right amount of soul to heal a Nascent Soul’s injuries.”

There had to be a way to fix this.

It likely came down to our comprehension being too different. This would cause the emotions we brought to our parts to not match. “Alright, we’ll each discuss our understanding of the song and its separate sections. We need to have the same knowledge of each part and how they come together to enhance the meaning. I’ll go first.”

Just after I finished explaining my understanding of the guitar and lyric portions, that asshole Noxious Fangstrike moseyed on over like he was in the neighborhood and wanted to say hello. Frankly, his showing up now was suspicious as fuck.

I narrowed my eyes at him. “Greetings, Senior.” He nodded to me. “It’s almost like you knew that this was the perfect time to interrupt us.”

He clasped his hands behind his back and didn’t respond to my subtle accusation that he’d been spying. While I had used the soundproofing formation, it wasn’t good enough to prevent an eavesdropping Nascent Soul like him.

Dread Lotus set her stick down with a clack and ran over to him. “Uncle! What are you doing here?”

“I’m picking up my new research assistant.”

She frowned. “Who is that?”

He gestured to me and I scowled. ::Am I your research assistant, Senior, or are you mine?::

::I’m an elder. Allow me to keep my image up in front of my niece.::

::Fine, but you’ll owe me.::

“Oh! That’s great news. Linlin is my best friend. So make sure to treat her well. I’ll be upset if she comes crying to me, saying that you’ve bullied her.”

“I think she’s more likely to bully me,” he muttered softly.

Hah! Said the guy who captured me in his goddamn cauldron. “Alright, you three, you know enough and can figure this out together. I expect your coordination to be improved by the time I get back.”

“Yes, Band Leader Linlin!”

“Dread Lotus, you’re in charge until I return.”

She grinned. “I’ll be sure we sound fifty percent better, at least.”

Noxious Fangstrike hesitated. “Well, my research isn’t urgent. Maybe I could stay here and watch—”

“No! Uncle, please go. You’ll make us too nervous.”

He frowned. “Fine! I can see I’m not wanted... but I would have liked to see my beloved niece more, now that she’s feeling better.”

::You’re not going to guilt them into asking you to stay.::

::Why are you and Dread Lotus the only ones not nervous and respectful around me?::

::I’m perfectly respectable toward you, Senior-who-couldn’t-cure-his-own-niece.::

::Don’t test me.::

::What? You want to harm your niece’s best friend? Should I tell her that? She might never speak to you again.::

::...::

“Let’s go.” He turned around, flicking his sleeve in irritation.

***

Noxious showed me to a desk in his alchemy room, where he set down several small piles of jade slips.

He pointed to each stack going from right to left. ”These are all the references I found mentioning what the bath was like back when the sect first started. This is a list of all the ingredients we currently use. These are the various prescriptions for each poison that uses one or more of the same herbs. These are the failed tests I remembered my seniors telling me they’d conducted. And these are all my experiments.” He clasped his hands behind his back and appeared way too proud of himself.

“I’m impressed. You went above and beyond what I asked you to compile.”

“I only collected what I thought you’d need. We have to resolve the bath’s side effects as soon as possible.”

I grinned. “If your bath can be fixed, I’ll fix it.” Of course, the first step was to go over all this information. It was a good thing I was the creator of the Dao of Paperwork or I might be troubled by all the material he’d provided.