The Demon Queen's Contract

Chapter 125: Don't push me away forever

It's been a week since that night, the one that should have brought us closer together, but instead seems to have pushed Elara further away. I can feel the distance growing between us, like a chasm that widens with each passing day. It's not just physical it's something deeper, something more profound.

The castle feels different now, as if the walls themselves are echoing the tension between us. The grand halls that once felt warm and inviting are now cold and oppressive, the stone floors beneath my feet sending chills up my spine.

Even the air feels thicker, harder to breathe, as if the weight of our unspoken words is pressing down on us both.

I find myself pacing our chambers, my mind racing with thoughts of Elara. Every time I see her, she's lost in thought, her brow furrowed, her eyes distant. I want to reach out to her, to pull her back to me, but every time I try, she pulls away, as if my touch is too much to bear.

It's a kind of pain I've never felt before, this helplessness, this sense that no matter what I do, I can't reach her.

One morning, I find her sitting by the window in our chambers, the early light filtering through the glass and casting a soft glow over her. She's staring out at the horizon, her expression unreadable. I approach her slowly, as if she's a skittish animal that might bolt if I get too close.

"Elara," I say softly, my voice barely above a whisper. "Talk to me."

She doesn't respond at first, just keeps staring out at the sky, her hands clenched in her lap. I reach out, gently placing my hand over hers, feeling the tension in her fingers, the way they tremble ever so slightly under my touch.

"Please," I whisper, my heart aching with the need to understand, to help. "Don't shut me out."

She finally turns to look at me, her eyes haunted, filled with a pain that cuts me to the core. "I don't know who I am anymore, Seraphina," she says, her voice hollow, as if the words themselves have been drained of life. "I don't know if I'm the person you think I am… or if I'm still that monster I used to be."

I can feel the sting of tears behind my eyes, but I force them back. I need to be strong for her, even if it's tearing me apart. "You're not a monster," I say, my voice firmer than I feel. "You're not who you used to be, Elara. You've changed. You've grown.

I see it every day."

She shakes her head, pulling her hand away from mine, as if she can't bear the comfort I'm offering. "But what if that's still inside me?" she asks, her voice trembling. "What if I'm just pretending? What if I'm still capable of… of everything I did before?"

The pain in her voice is unbearable, and I can't stand it anymore. I move closer, taking her face in my hands, forcing her to look at me. "You're not that person anymore," I insist, my voice shaking with emotion. "You're not. I know it, and deep down, I think you know it too. You're better than that.

You've shown it time and time again."

She closes her eyes, a single tear slipping down her cheek, and it breaks something inside me. I wipe it away with my thumb, my heart aching with the need to make her believe in herself, to make her see what I see.

But she pulls away from me again, standing up and moving to the other side of the room, putting as much distance between us as she can. It feels like a physical blow, like she's pushing me away not just in that moment, but in every way that matters.

"I need some time, Seraphina," she says, her back to me, her voice thick with emotion. "I need to figure this out on my own."

Her words hang in the air between us, a barrier that feels impossible to break through. I want to argue, to tell her that she doesn't have to do this alone, that I'm here for her, that I'll always be here for her.

So I nod, even though she can't see it, even though it feels like the hardest thing I've ever done. "I understand," I say, my voice barely above a whisper.

She doesn't respond, just stands there, her back still turned to me. The silence stretches on, heavy and suffocating, until I can't take it anymore. I turn and leave the room, my heart heavy with the weight of everything left unsaid.

The days that follow are some of the hardest I've ever endured. Elara continues to pull away, her distance a constant, painful reminder that I can't reach her, that I can't help her. I try to be patient, to give her the space she says she needs, but it's killing me inside.

I wander the castle aimlessly, my mind a whirlwind of worry and despair, until I find myself in the one place where I feel closest to her the training grounds.

The familiar sights and sounds of the place offer little comfort, but it's something, at least. I pick up my sword, the weight of it in my hand grounding me, giving me something to focus on other than the pain that's tearing me apart.

I go through the motions of my training, each swing of the blade, each movement, a distraction from the thoughts that won't leave me alone.

But no matter how hard I train, no matter how much I push myself, I can't escape the truth. I can't escape the fact that Elara is slipping away from me, and I don't know how to stop it.

Days blend into one another, a haze of worry and heartache, until finally, I can't take it anymore. I need to see her, to talk to her, to make her understand that she doesn't have to face this alone.

I find her in the library, surrounded by books, her expression distant as she stares at the pages in front of her.

"Elara," I say softly, stepping into the room.

She looks up, her eyes meeting mine, and for a moment, something flickers there, something that gives me hope. But then it's gone, replaced by that same haunted look I've come to dread.

"Seraphina," she says, her voice flat, emotionless.

I take a deep breath, forcing myself to keep calm, to not let the fear and frustration take over. "We need to talk," I say, my voice steady, though it feels like it's taking every ounce of strength I have to keep it that way.

She sighs, closing the book in front of her, her fingers tracing the cover absently. "I don't know what there is to talk about."

Her words are like a punch to the gut, but I push through the pain. "We need to talk about us," I say, taking a step closer. "About what's happening between us."

She looks away, her expression guarded. "There's nothing to talk about, Seraphina. I just… I just need time."

I shake my head, my frustration bubbling to the surface. "Time isn't going to fix this, Elara. You're shutting me out, and it's tearing us apart."

Her eyes snap back to mine, and for the first time in days, I see something other than that distant, haunted look. I see anger, frustration, pain all the emotions she's been holding back, finally breaking through the surface.

"I'm trying, Seraphina!" she snaps, her voice rising. "I'm trying to figure out who I am, to understand everything that's happened, and I don't know how to do that with you hovering over me every second!"

Her words cut deep, but I refuse to back down. "I'm not hovering, Elara. I'm trying to help you, to be there for you. But you keep pushing me away, and I don't know how to reach you."

She glares at me, her eyes blazing with anger. "Maybe I don't want you to reach me! Maybe I need to figure this out on my own, without you trying to fix everything for me!"

Her words hang in the air between us, a chasm that feels impossible to bridge. I can feel the tears burning behind my eyes, but I refuse to let them fall. "I'm not trying to fix you, Elara," I say, my voice trembling with emotion. "I just… I just don't want to lose you."

For a moment, she looks at me, really looks at me, and I see the conflict in her eyes, the war she's fighting within herself. But then she looks away, her expression hardening once more.

"I don't know who I am anymore, Seraphina," she says quietly, her voice void of the anger from moments before. "And until I figure that out… I don't know how to be with you."

Her words hit me like a physical blow, the pain radiating through my chest like a shockwave. I want to scream, to cry, to beg her not to do this, not to shut me out, but I can see in her eyes that it won't make a difference. She's already made up her mind.

I nod slowly, the tears finally slipping down my cheeks, my heart shattering with every beat. "I'll give you space," I say, my voice barely above a whisper. "But please… please don't push me away forever."

She doesn't respond, just stands there, her back to me, the silence between us more deafening than any words could be. I turn and leave the room, my heart breaking with every step, the fear that I'm losing her losing the woman I love clawing at my insides, leaving me hollow and aching.

As I walk away, the castle feels even colder, the shadows longer, the silence more oppressive. And for the first time in my life, I don't know how to fight the darkness.