Re:life with Karmic Gacha (Modern Family)

Chapter 126: Peer Review

Chapter 126: Chapter 126: Peer Review

[Edward POV]

"Penny, your check engine light is on." I said with a smile the second I sat next to her in the driver's seat. She had cut her hair from the last time we met.

Now, she had bangs on her forehead, and her hair was straight and it reached only her shoulder compared to the long wavy hair she had before. With a pink sweater on, she looked like a high school girl instead of a working woman.

"I TOLD YOU!" Sheldon said as he was thrown off to the back seat after failing to shout 'shotgun' before me to claim the seat.

Penny laughed dryly and said, "The engine light is on, but the engine is fineee~"

"Is it really?" I gave her a side eye before I chuckled at her 'I got caught' reaction.

"Okay New topic. Edward, why do you need Leonard? You haven't told us yet." Penny said while glancing at Leonard behind her.

"And I never will. Penny, you should bring your car to my place sometime. I could check out the engine for you."

Sheldon chortled and said, "Please. As if you knew how to fix an internal combustion engine. "

I replied casually, "Yeah. I do in fact. I can even build a working car using scraps. What's your point, Mr 'I-Was-Not-Invited-But-Come-Anyway-Cause-I'm-Jobless-Cooper'."

After being fired from his job for insulting the new dean Sheldon had spent almost a week doing various weird things in his apartment. His refusal to apologize to get his job back had been making life hard for everybody around him.

"I'm not jobless. I'm on sabbatical-" Sheldon tried to explain.

"Which is basically jobless. You know what, I won't even be surprised if you went crazy and started to create 'luminous-fish' and call them a 'billion dollar idea' now that you are not working."

Sheldon froze and Leonard scrunched his forehead in both confusion and in awe. The crazy theoretical physicist turned to his best friend and said, "Leonard, did you break the statue of secrecy I gave you for our BRILLIANT!!!!...luminous fish idea?"

"It's your idea, Not mine. Besides, I haven't agreed to become your partner. It wouldn't be a good investment." Leonard said before turning to me and asked, "How the hell did you know that?"

"Know what?" I replied teasingly. "That Sheldon would go crazy? I always knew it was only a matter of time."

Leonard and Penny laughed. Sheldon waited for a while before he muttered, "I'm not crazy. My mother had me tested."

After a while, Penny said with a blush, "Thanks for the offer Edward . I will bring the car by your house sometime."

Leonard's eyes darted between the both of us before he hurriedly said, "You know. I always wanted to get my hands dirty and try to fix a car too. Should I help you?"

Sheldon looked at him confusedly and said, "What are you talking about? You hate getting dirt on your hands."

"Shut up Sheldon."

"And you don't have the skills to do it."

"Excuse me, I'm an experimental physicist. I could learn how to do it in no time."

While the two were bickering, I turned to Penny and asked, "How was your audition? Did you get any calls?"

She slumped her shoulders and looked down instantly as she heard that. Leonard heard it and replied for her, "She got lots...lots of them..."

Penny added grudgingly, "But I got no parts! None!"

"Huh? Why?" I asked puzzledly.

Sheldon interjected as usual, "Maybe the directors went to the cheesecake factory, and got served by Penny. No one would want to hire her after seeing her work ethics."

Penny was offended, but she didn't acknowledge Sheldon but chose to respond to me instead "I don't know. I have no idea why."

'I do know why. But you wouldn't like me to say it.' I thought to myself.

Although her career was jump started by her part in my music video, she actually sucked when real acting was required. The only reason she looked good in the mv was because she didn't have a single line of dialogue and she only came out in less than 45 seconds in the clip, plus my own system given talent did help boost both our on screen presence.

It would take a brave director, or a reckless and desperate one to actually cast her for an actual role in a movie.

"I'm sure you will get something in the future. Don't worry about it." I comforted her as I put my hand on her shoulder. Leonard got jealous again while Penny blushed and looked at me with some expectation, but she didn't request anything.

"Back to the original topic, why did you want to meet with Leonard?" Sheldon asked to change the topic as the current one wasn't to his interest.

...

"So, you want me to help you figure out how to ask a girl to prom?" Leonard asked in disbelief. "How....What...WHY?!"

Not only him, but even Penny and Sheldon were shocked by my request. All of us were currently at the Cheesecake factory as I needed to get some food. Penny even dropped her fries as the table fell silent. She was sitting next to me while the boys were on the other side.

I kept my cool and acted casually as I ate my fish and chips while I waited for them to finish processing the information.

Sheldon then took a sip of his ice tea and said to me, "Hmm...Long Island Iced Tea is great. No wonder people drink this during their vacation."

Penny snapped out of her frozen state and snickered at Sheldon. He wanted to order lemonade as usual, but I convinced him to try the Long Island Iced Tea. As I simply pointed out to him that jobless people don't change their routine but those on vacation relax and for example enjoy said drink which made him order it in a second hoping to prove that he wasn't in fact jobless, but was actually just taking a small vacation.

"This is great." Sheldon said with a smile as he drank the tea.

"Okay-okay. Back to this, Edward...Leonard? Seriously?" Penny asked in disbelief.

"Hey I can be romantic if I want to-" Leonard said hurriedly.

"Oh no. I can handle the romantic part. I just need some ideas for making some series of puzzles for her." I replied before taking out my Iphone. "I have a few, but some of them need chemicals that I don't have, and also quite dangerous."

Leonard took the phone and read my list of ideas. He was shocked and asked, "URANIUM! What could you possibly think of that you would need URANIUM FOR?!? You are just asking a GIRL TO PROM!? REJECTED!"

"Give me that!" Sheldon snatched the phone from Leonard and read the list on his own. "This one could work. Hacking into various government organizations and leaving clues inside their archives so that she can decipher them one by one."

I nodded at Sheldon's words, but Penny shouted, NOOOO!" She snatched the phone and pushed it back into my hands. "Girls don't need all of that! You just need to be sincere with her. Don't be an international criminal, just because you want to ask her out!"

"But-"

"NO BUTS!" Penny warned me before saying, "Or I'll tell Pepper about it."

"FINE!"

Leonard thought for a while before saying, "You know, the puzzle about the periodic element sounds good. But you can't spell prom with it without it becoming Promt."

"Or you could use some flashcards and reenact the scenes from 'Love Actually'." Penny said.

"How about you Penny? How did your date ask you to your prom?" I asked her curiously.

"Which Prom?"

"The first. Or the seventh. I just want to know the memorable ones."

She thought for a while as Leonard muttered to himself, "Seven?"

"Well there was one boy who decided to bring me flowers and asked me in front of the entire school..." She shared.

"And did you go with him?" I asked.

"No. He looked like a creep, so I went with his best friend instead-" Penny blurted out, and stopped halfway as she realized that she wasn't going to look good in that story. "There was another one where I went with the quarterback, so we just went to prom together."

"So, one man for each prom, or one man for the entire seven?" Leonard asked. Penny's mouth felt dry and she answered meekly, "The first one."

"Damn, so you lost your v-card 7 times?" I joked. Penny was bewildered and she laughed, "Oh no. I lost it years before-" She realized the topic was inappropriate again, but before she could change the subject, I asked, "So, did you sleep with your prom dates or not?"

"Well I was young...So yes." She replied shyly.

Leonard was depressed at the side, while Sheldon was spacing out already as he kept drinking his tea, and ordering more and more of it. Leonard then decided to change the subject, "Is this girl special to you?"

"Kinda. She's my best friend."

"Only...a friend? Or a friend that you haven't got the courage to ask out yet?" He asked while glancing at Penny.

"A friend ...Well we did go out before, but she broke up with me." I confessed. "I don't think we will go out together again, but I wanted to give her one last good school experience before she moved back to New York."

"Ahhh...I got it." Leonard exclaimed before he took out his phone. "Can I ask Howard about this? He could give us a few ideas."

"I don't think so... Anything he comes up with will probably get me kicked in the nuts, but you can try." I replied with distrust in my tone.

Leonard talked to Howard for a while before the latter said using a loudspeaker, "Well She learned forensics. So you could say, "The human body has 206 bones. You want to see the 207th? Go to Prom with me-"

I pressed the disconnect button on Leonard's phone before Howard could finish. "See. Useless."

...

"A friend of mine saw you shopping with Sheldon a few days back." I said while the waitress was giving Sheldon his third glass of "tea", I made a casual conversation with Penny.

"Ohh. I saw her too. Why is she staying around here, and not at her mansion? Did her family go broke?" Penny asked.

"Nah. The mansion is still there. But something happened, and she wasn't ready to go back there yet. Anyway, what did you do there?" I asked, changing the topic.

Sheldon interjected, his face flushing a bit from the alcohol. "I went to get some eggs, and Penny went there to create expensive urine."

Leonard and I widened our eyes as Penny was flabbergasted by Sheldon's mumbling. I muttered, "Kinky," which made Penny turn to me with a horrified look on her face.

"Also. She was in her time of the month-" Sheldon added.

"I'M NOT! NoooO! None of that was true!" Penny exclaimed hurriedly. She then explained how Sheldon was criticizing her for buying supplementary vitamins, and how he misunderstood her sarcastic remarks about the urine part.

As Sheldon got more and more drunk, Leonard and I changed our conversation to my air fryer invention. I drew the design on a tissue paper, which I slid over to Leonard's side of the table for him to see.

"Hmm..." He contemplated the designs for a while. Penny was astonished and she hugged me, pressing my face on her chest as she did so. "Oh my god! You're sooo SMART!" She said as if she was praising a child.

I gave her a side eye and Sheldon said, "To you, he might seem so. Give me that!" He snatched the tissue from Leonard again.

Leonard wasn't offended and he looked up to me before saying, "Theoretically, it is possible. But there are several factors you need to consider. The bacterial infestation, the materials that could handle the heating system, the food taste...This is a whole new cooking equipment. People will feel that it's reinvigorating at first, but if you fail to make it become a norm in people's daily life, the invention's hype will be short-lived."

"Not to mention the money you need to handle the R&D for the technology, On Your Own. Want my advice? It's better for you to just figure it out and finish the technology, patent it, and then sell it instead of building your own brand."

"I am planning to sell it though..." I said quizzically with a slight head tilt. I wonder why he got the idea that I was going to monopolize the invention.

"You're not trying to keep it? Aren't you a money-grubber- Wait. Sorry." Leonard shook his head quickly as Penny widened her eyes and gestured to him with her facial expression to stop talking.

I laughed and turned to Sheldon who was scrutinizing the tissue paper. "Sheldon, you okay?" I asked.

"Hmm... For materials, ceramics and stainless steel should be enough. You can also build the device with heat-resistant polycarbonate, and it would be able to withstand the needed temperatures. Also, I do agree with Leonard on the R&D part. You should sell it instead of doing it on your own."

Leonard and Penny were surprised that Sheldon's mind could still work after all that booze, but I didn't have much of a reaction except for being annoyed.

"I never said I would do it on my own. Why are you people...? Nevermind."

"If you want, I can... help you out by buying the equipment you need to make a prototype. It'll be hard for you to order it on your own unless you know people in academia." Leonard said.

"Then, I will count on you with that."

"Also, I know someone with a Master's degree in engineering. Howard can be of help-"

"Oh hells no. I want to do it in my aunt's garage, and there is no way I'm going to let him near her." I rejected him quickly. Although it would be fun to see Howard get punched, I'd much rather he just stay the fuck away from my aunt after all it wouldn't do for her to think that I was hanging out with people like him.

"Hey...Are you Edward? Can I get a picture?" Suddenly, a young fan, presumably a 9 or 10 year old girl, walked to our seats and asked while holding the edge of the table.

"Umm...You know what. I actually have a rule about taking pictures with fans outside." I said. She turned dejected, and almost left the table. I added, "But, I will make an exception today. Just. for. You."

I spoke clearly to make sure the other people lingering around the table heard it. Although I have no qualms about taking pictures with fans, there was a place and time for it. Me hanging out with friends – was definitely not the time for it.

I took a picture with the kid, and she skipped away happily after that. Sheldon was a bit jealous and said, "You know, I was responsible for the university's 4 quantum gravity equations all of which made various impacts on changing humanity's way of understanding the universe, but a 14 year old who knows how to sing is more famous than me."

"Do you know how to sing Sheldon?" I asked instigatively.

"I know how to sing, I just choose not to do it." Sheldon replied.

"Really? There is a piano and a microphone right there. Why don't you prove it?"

Sheldon replied drunkenly, "Your juvenile attempt to make me sing here and embarrass myself is pathetic. However, I can sense that my frontal lobe isn't working properly, and I am more prone to making bad decisions."

I laughed and called the waitress who was passing by. "Hi, my friend here is an excellent singer. Can you let him use the stage?"

"Ummm...I need to ask the manager first, but I think if Mr Edward Newgate vouches for him, then there would be no problem. Hi Penny. Can't believe you're sitting here."

"Hi Caitlyn. I told you, I know him!" Penny replied with a fake smile while hugging me again as if marking her territory in front of the other girl. Caitlyn smiled wryly and walked away before Penny cursed, "That bitch always tries to convince people I don't actually know you."

Leonard said, "Well you can't really blame her. The probability to meet anyone, let alone a waiter, that has a connection to a famous person is abysmally small."

Penny immediately glared at him. I sighed at Leonard's lack of understanding of women and comforted Penny, "Well...One day when you get famous, Caitlyn will go around telling people that she used to know you. She'll be excited even."

"Okay that's it! I WILL SING!" Sheldon suddenly stood up and declared. He then walked to the stage and sat next to the keyboard.

"OooH! I'm looking forward to this." I said as I turned my chair to face the stage and even took out my phone to record it.

??? (To Life- Fiddler on the Roof. See the Sheldon Version)

"To life, to life, l'chaim! l'chaim, l'chaim, to life! Here's to the father I tried to be!

Here's to my bride to be!" Sheldon started out normally before he made the tempo turn upbeat. The genius also has a pitch perfect ability, and he could sing every song that he ever heard if he wanted to. That was also one of the reasons he avoided songs. Otherwise, it would occupy a big part of his brain.

"Drink, l'chaim, to life! To life, to life, l'chaim.L'chaim, l'chaim, to life.!

Life has a way of confusing us,

Blessing and bruising us.

Drink, l'chaim, to life~~~~~~! Fah~!"

"DAI DAI DADADADA DAI DAI DADADADA DAI DAI DADADADA DAI! HEY!"

....

As Leonard walked Sheldon home after taking the bus instead of the car as Sheldon was feeling adventurous, Penny drove me home in her car.

"Thanks for driving me." I said as we got to my aunt's house.

"You're welcome sweetie." Penny replied. "And don't worry. I'm sure your promposal will go great."

"You too. I'm sure that you will get a part sooner or later-"

"Hopefully SOON! I can't take working in the Cheesecake factory any more! Otherwise, It will seem like I've already failed to catch my break." Penny said in a dispirited manner.

"Like a bad batch of bread." I joked. Penny chuckled before faking irritation and said, "Okay. Good night." She then pressed the gas pedal and slowly drove away.

I laughed and shouted, "Don't forget to bring your car over...Next week!"

"SURE! I WILL!" Penny replied from afar. It was only 7 o'clock when I returned to my place. As I entered the house, I froze a bit when I saw Desiree and my aunt sitting together at the dining place and laughing while talking.

Then, Desiree narrowed her eyes at me for a split second as she saw me before putting on a smile on her face again. My heart skipped a beat, but I didn't react to it and walked to the dining table casually.

...

[General POV]

"Sheldon- SHELDON!" Leonard tried to stop Sheldon who was saying away to a normal suburban house, but it was too late. Sheldon rang the bell, and when the dean of the university opened the door, he instantly said, "YOOOOOUUUUUU~"

Gabblehouser was flabbergasted and asked, "Dr Cooper, are you drunk?"

"You fired me! And now, a 14 year old boy is going to replace me!" He whined as he leaned on the doorframe of the house.

Gabblehouser turned to Leonard who was fidgeting behind Sheldon and asked, "Do you know anything about this?"

"I honestly don't." Leonard said, trying to keep his hands clean from the upcoming shit storm.

"Dr Cooper, if you apologize, I will hire you back at the university." Dr Gablehauser said. Although he was offended by Sheldon's remark, his genius was undisputed.

Sheldon threw his arms down, flailing them as he whined, "But I didn't say anything that was untruwe....(Burp)...Untrue..." He almost fell down, but he grabbed the doorframe to keep himself standing up.

"Sheldon. It doesn't matter what you think. This is your chance. Just apologize, and you can go back to work with us..." Leonard took the chance to convince Sheldon.

"Dr Cooper, do you want your job back?" Dr Gabblehauser asked.

"I do. But I don't wanna apologize."

"Should I call your mother and make her, make you apologize?" Leonard threatened him.

"ALLRIGHT!" Sheldon exclaimed exasperatingly before turning to the dean. However, instead of apologizing, he chuckled and said, "Gabblehauser...inside a house...er...Wait...Am I at your house?"

"SHELDON!" Leonard cried out to him. Sheldon was shocked before his sanity returned for a short period of time. "Okay. Dr Gabblehauser. I'm sorry for...calling you a glorified high school science teacher...whose last successful experiment was lighting his own farts..."

Gabblehauser felt attacked again, but Sheldon continued, "I'm sorry. That was...uncalled for.."

"Okay Dr Cooper. I'll see you back at the office tomorrow. Now, get the hell out of my porch." Dr Gabblehauser said, wanting to put all of the matter behind him and start anew.

"On second thought." Sheldon gestured with his index finger. Leonard was afraid that he would take his words back, but then, something worse happened.

"BLUEEKKK!!!" Sheldon threw up inside of Dr Gabblehauser's house.