We Are Legion (We Are Bob)

Book 5: Chapter 39: A Civil Discussion

Book 5: Chapter 39: A Civil Discussion

Bob

June 2343

In Virt

Theresa had invited me to her place—in VR, that is—and since I hadn’t seen her in a while, I was unreasonably excited. She had recently discovered the UFS Federal Library and had jumped in with both feet. She hadn’t even answered messages for several days. Now, it looked like she was finally coming up for air.

We didn’t have a need for tokens, being on the same subnet by tacit agreement, but it was still polite these days to knock first. I received an ACK, then popped in. I was taken aback, though, to find the layout considerably changed. I was in what I’d have called a home theater room back on old Earth. Theresa was sitting, in Quinlan form, in an easy chair reminiscent of the furniture in the Heaven’s River transit system. She patted the arm of an empty chair beside her, so I converted to Enoki and took the hint.

“Are we going to watch a show?”

“A couple, actually. Just short clips. A few are from your YouTube site, and a few are from our own version, which for some awful reason has been dubbed QuinTube.” She paused. “You do understand there’s no cultural justification for that name?”

I smiled at her. “Remember what I said about the English language? Turns out it also infects other languages. Kind of like an STD.”

Theresa looked confused for a moment, then said, “We don’t have those. Different mating strategies and all. But I get your point. Anyway … ”

The big screen lit up, showing a Quinlan quartet. They began singing right away—no intro, no warm-up, no credits. QuinTube still needed some refinement, it seemed. But the singing was—well, incredible. I’d heard some street performances in Heaven’s River and had been impressed. But those were mostly solos and probably impromptu. This was a practiced, coordinated group. The way the multiple melody lines interwove and—wait a minute.

I frame-jacked and backed up a few mils. A bit of quick filtering, and I came out with six different melody lines. With only four participants. I returned to VR normal and opened my mouth to comment, but Theresa paused the video and beat me to it.

“I see that you’ve noticed the singing. Bob, I knew humans had poor hearing, but while researching the issue, I discovered that it’s a lot more involved. We have a wider audible frequency range, yes. But we also have finer discernment within that range. And vocally, we have the ability to simultaneously sing two notes. So an experienced singer”—she gestured to the screen—“can sing two melody lines at once.”

“Wow,” I said. Not very erudite, Bob.

Theresa rolled her eyes. No, actually rolled her eyes, not the Quinlan equivalent. “If you weren’t in a Quinlan avatar right now, I’m not sure you’d even hear the whole composition.”

“Is this important?”

“Hmm. Anec has been talking about ways to improve cultural contact between our species. He is of the opinion that the Pav are rather—uh, he disapproves of their isolationist strategy, let’s just say.” She gestured at the screen. “What would you think of a Quinlan media company?”

“Distributing pieces like this?” I nodded slowly. “I have all the artistic talent of a fencepost, honestly, but I know a lot of people would go crazy over this.” Theresa nodded silently, and I continued. “So what other Quinlan wonders did you have to show me?”

“On the contrary, Bob.” She waved a hand, and the screen changed to another video. This was a human ballet of … I did a quick search … Swan Lake, apparently.

I watched people caper and leap for a few moments. I was by no means a fan of ballet, but the skill on display was obvious. Then the scene changed to ballroom dancing. Before I could ask a question, a square dance popped up. Then a Skip routine, that being the current incarnation of hip-hop. I’d hated hip-hop when I was alive, and I saw no reason to change my opinion.

“Okay. I dance about as well as I sing, Theresa. The punch line?”

“Have you seen Quinlans dance?”

I opened my mouth to reply, then stopped before I could say something that I’d have to apologize for. “Yes, I hit the town of Elbow just at festival time.” ?Ã?????

“I have always been quite proud of Quinlan dance.” She paused and stared at the screen for a moment. “I was a good dancer in my youth. Not professional caliber, you understand. But talented, by Quinlan standards.” She gestured at the screen, which froze with one of the ballerinas in the middle of a grand jeté. “This makes me embarrassed to even use the word. Human agility and grace are … ” She stopped and shook her head. Again, the human gesture, not the Quinlan equivalent. “The cultural exchange will be two-way. The Quinlans I’ve shown this to swear that it must be special effects.”

“Well, we have those, too.”

“Yes, I’ve seen some of your movies.”

“Cultural exchange on those as well?”

“I truly, truly hope not.”

I chuckled, and she continued, “Do you know what the sensory differences between humans and Pav are?”

“Not offhand, no. Please enlighten me.”

“Sorry, I cannot. Interestingly, no one seems to have thought to ask.”

“But someone like Bridget—”

Theresa cut me off. “Bio-human contact with the Pav has been rare, and strictly by video communication. After all, they went straight into stasis, then got dumped on a remote planet. Only Bobs have had any degree of contact with them, and I have to say, as a group, you are remarkably obtuse about such questions.”

“Huh.” I sat in silence for a few moments, thinking about this. “Maybe you’ve found yourself a new career here, Theresa. Ministry of Exobiological Diplomacy or something. It certainly seems to be something that’s slipped through the cracks.”

Theresa gave me a smile. “I’ve talked to a few people. This just might happen.”