We Are Legion (We Are Bob)

Book 5: Chapter 36: The Gamers Come Through



Book 5: Chapter 36: The Gamers Come Through

Book 5: Chapter 36: The Gamers Come Through

Howard

March 2343

In Virt

Bridget and I received a couple of tokens, no time specified, from Gandalf, along with a note: I’m free now if you want.

Worked for me. We activated the tokens and found ourselves in the Gamers’ vestibule. Which, it turned out, looked like a waiting room at a legal firm. There was even a receptionist, although a quick metadata check indicated she was an NPC.

Bridget snorted, then started to sit down just as Gandalf came out of the back. He was still dressing like Ian McKellen in LOTR, which I thought was perfectly reasonable but drove Bridget batty. I think her eye actually twitched as he greeted us.

“Hello and welcome. Come on into my office.” Gandalf made a sweeping gesture with his staff. Twitch, twitch.

“What’s with the layout?” I asked.

Gandalf smiled. “Just playing against type. We’re trying to swap things out weekly, and some of the suggestions are really bizarre. Even for me. This”—he gestured around him—“is tame.”

He led us into a room that resembled the Hall of the Rohirrim. I opened my mouth to comment, and Gandalf cut me off. “Don’t overanalyze everything, Howard. This is my VR, not a Freudian cry for help.”

I laughed out loud. Even Bridget smiled. We sat down at a long picnic table and reached for mugs of beer that appeared out of nowhere. Gandalf again took the lead. “I presume you’re here about the dragon cultural analysis?” We nodded in unison, and he continued, “Pretty much complete. Our content editor is hammering it into some kind of shape, but you should have it in a day.”

“Are you familiar with the details?” Bridget asked.

“Of course. A new intelligent species is hugely interesting. And, ah … ” Gandalf looked embarrassed for a moment. “This one in particular seems especially suited to be added to the D&D bestiary. Or so I’m told.”

“Unbelievable,” Bridget muttered. Then louder, “I ask because we were pursued last time by what I think might have been a patrol of some kind. Nowhere near a village—”

“Floater,” I interrupted.

“Village,” Bridget repeated, giving me a dirty look, “so we’re not sure where they were from or what they wanted.”

“Bandits?” Gandalf mused. “Or perhaps pirates.”

“Excuse me?” I said.

“You know the history of piracy, right?” Gandalf shook his head. “Of course you do, because I do.” He turned to Bridget. “Pirates were unofficially sanctioned by governments of the day to harass ships from other countries, under a flag of anonymity. Kind of like state-sponsored terrorism.”

Bridget looked shocked. “You’re saying the dragons engage in this activity?”

Gandalf hesitated. “Cultural analysis works best when reporting on stable and long-term behaviors. Right now, dragon culture is going through some, erm, rapid evolution. Tensions are mounting. The analysis can’t give you too much on it, because things are in flux. But don’t worry. The average dragon citizen is probably just as confused about what’s going on. You’ll fit right in.”

“Wow,” I replied. “That’s not ominous or anything.”

“Mm-hmm. Some kind of Alexander the Great character is acting up, near as anyone can tell. Annexing territory, which in this case consists of the floating islands. It’ll be interesting times.”

I glanced at Bridget. “Want to put this off?”

“Don’t be silly, Howard. But maybe we should put together a few spare drannies, in case we get shot down.”

I rolled my eyes. Interesting times, indeed.


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