We Are Legion (We Are Bob)

Book 3: Chapter 28: Payback

Book 3: Chapter 28: Payback

Bob

April 2224

Eden

Caerleon was a busy area—almost frantic. Maybe it was the age of the residents, and the relative lack of family groups. Caerleon had been colonized by juveniles just into puberty and going through the adolescent rebellion stage. Marvin and I agreed that we’d created a baby boomer generation when we moved everyone to Camelot and the birth rate subsequently surged. All those teenagers, getting hormonal at the same time, had probably just egged each other on.

At any rate, it made sneaking up a difficult operation. I had the advantages of lack of scent and ability to stay completely still, of course. Plus some commando camouflage tricks that I looked up in the ship libraries. Still, it took almost five hours to maneuver into position. Original Bob would have been a single giant muscle cramp by that point, but android muscles didn’t get tired.

And I was now in position. Surveillance had shown that Fred had a preferred location for his bodily functions, and he was very much a creature of habit. I picked a spot where I could take him on the way back, and settled down to wait.

* * *

As Fred turned back to the trail, I slammed into him. Shoving him up against a tree, I placed the edge of my flint knife against his throat.

“Hello, Fred. Remember our last conversation?”

Fred’s eyes were wide with fear, and he made no attempt to struggle.

“I own you right now, kuzzi.” I practically spit his favorite insult back in his face. “Whether you live to see the sun set today depends on my mood. Understand?”

Fred understood. The odor of fear emanated from him. But he apparently wasn’t going to just fold. “My friends won’t let this go,” he said. “They’ll come after you.”

And he was right. This was something I’d worried about, but had hoped I wouldn’t have to deal with. If he didn’t capitulate in some manner, I might actually end up having to kill him. Could I do that in cold blood? If he just dug in his heels and called my bluff, I’d have to either follow through or lose any credibility.

On the other hand, if I’d come with Donald, Fred would already be dead.

It was so tempting. But even after being embedded in Deltan civilization for all these years, I still had a 21st century human squeamishness about taking life.

“What’s your problem, Fred? Can’t hunt on your own? Can’t figure out which end of the spear to use? Or are you just lazy?”

Fred’s ears went flat and his lips curled back from his teeth in a reaction that, for a Deltan, was an expression of rage. “It’s so easy for you, isn’t it? Sit there with all the resources and yap about how everyone else isn’t living up to your standards? I’m not answerable to you.”

“Well, right now you kind of are.” I pushed the blade harder against his throat to make the point.

But Fred was angry now. His reaction, his unexpected rage, surprised me. I’d mishandled this somehow, and now there was no way he was going to back down. Interesting food for thought, but right now it left me between a rock and a hard place.

With a flash of inspiration, I directed a spy drone to make some suspicious noises, in order to draw over some of the locals. Within moments, Fred and I could both hear his friends approaching and calling for him. He grinned at me in triumph. If his friends found a corpse, the whole village would be after me.

That was fine. Let him think that. I put my face up close to his. “Just remember that I can find you whenever I want. Next time I won’t discuss it, won’t even let you know I’m there. Maybe you should start hanging around with your friends all the time.”

With that, I gave him the usual quick jab in the breadbasket, and grabbed his spear as he folded. I vanished into the forest just before his friends came into sight.

Well, that hadn’t gone quite according to plan. I made my way back to Camelot, still trying to convince myself that I could kill him if I had to.

* * *

I told Archimedes the story over dinner. He took Fred’s spear and examined it while I talked.

“Donald would have just killed him,” he said. “Me, not so much. It’s hard to kill people, unless they’re attacking you.”

Archimedes maneuvered the spear around until he was looking at the tip. “This is really terrible work. Someone just shattered a nodule, and tied the sharpest shard onto the shaft.” He shook his head. “It’s as likely to fall off as penetrate the target. If this is what they have, I’m not surprised they’re having to steal food from our hunters.” ?Ã?????

I raised my eyebrows. Okay, the android actually pointed its ears forward and down, but it felt to me like the equivalent human expression.

If the Caerleon citizens were having less hunting success because of equipment failure… Could it be that easy? Perceived inequities like that had started more than one war on Earth. I liked to think Deltans were a little more sensible than humans in general, but not by that much.

I sat back against the boulder behind me and stared into space, considering the options.