We Are Legion (We Are Bob)

Book 2: Chapter 32: Linus

Book 2: Chapter 32: Linus

Bill

May 2178

Epsilon Eridani

[Incoming Message from Linus]

“Linus? Holy hell! Put it on.”

I’d just recently received the radio transmission from Linus about Epsilon Indi and KKP. Linus had, unfortunately, left Epsilon Indi before my transmissions of the SCUT plans had reached him. He’d been out of touch since 2150, when he left Epsilon Indi, and he hadn’t lagged his light-speed report by more than a few months. I smiled to myself. There would have to be some catching up.

Linus’s original transmission included a complete description of his encounter with Henry Roberts, the replicant from the Australian probe. Which officially didn’t exist.

Guppy popped up an email for me. It was a status update, essentially. Linus was still a few days away, and he hadn’t been getting VR updates for the last thirty-odd years. The old video connections were even more subject to tau-related limitations than modern VR.

I sent him a return email with VR updates attached. Meanwhile, I would start building a SCUT unit for him to install when he got here.

Linus sat back, coffee in hand, and put his feet up on the desk. I raised an eyebrow at him.

“Come on, Bill,” Linus said, laughing. “I’ll fix any virtual damage afterwards, okay?”

I grinned back. “Mom taught us better than that.”

Linus rolled his eyes and took his feet off the desk. He materialized a footstool and made himself comfortable. “Gotta admit, I really like the new VR system. Nice job.”

“Wasn’t just me, Linus. Everyone has put in mods. Bob-1 did a whole independent branch out at Delta Eridani before we reconnected. Some really good fine-detail stuff came out of that.”

Linus shifted to get more comfortable, and I grinned into the short silence. “Okay, before I explode—what’s with KKP? You’ve actually named it Klown Kar Planet?”

“Yep.” Linus grinned back at me. “Have you seen the orbital mechanics diagram? It’s a satellite of the system’s Jovian, and both the orbit and the planet’s axis are inclined ninety degrees from normal. Try to visualize the path of the sun over the year.”

“Habitable?”

“Technically. Air’s right, gravity’s right, life is biocompatible. But I wouldn’t want to live there.”

“Mm. On the other hand, we don’t have a surplus of colony targets. I’ll bet one of the enclaves will select it.”

Linus nodded. He took on an introspective expression, and I knew he wanted to talk about Henry. I waited for him to organize his thoughts.

“So, Bill, I’ve been doing some work with Henry. You’ve gone over my reports, right?”

“Without a VR, he went psychotic, and started following a warped version of his directives. You extracted his matrix from the structure you found and set up a VR for him, then started some home-brew therapy.”

Linus nodded. “I’ve gotten him to the point where he understands what happened. He’s living in reality, now, but he’s still pretty fragile. He can go into panic attacks without warning. When that happens, he goes back to his sailboat.”

“Okay, so what sets him off?”

“He’s agoraphobic, which seems strange since he has no problem being in a teeny boat in the middle of an ocean.” Linus rolled his eyes. “And he doesn’t like Guppy. Apparently the Australians used the same acronym for the GUPPI interface as FAITH did—”

“It’s the other way around, Linus. I’ll bring you up to date later, but Australia actually got there first. Anyway, continue.”

Linus gave me a perplexed look, but apparently decided to go along with my schedule. “Um, so the imaginary beings that tortured him were fish. I’ve been trying to desensitize him to Guppy’s presence. It helps that we used the Ackbar image. He saw Star Wars, and he thinks that’s pretty funny.”

I took a moment to shake my head. “Incredible. A hundred years after Star Wars and Star Trek were made, people were still watching them.”

Linus shrugged. “They were still playing The Wizard of Oz—the Judy Garland version—when Original Bob was an adult. That’s seventy-five years. How is it different?”

I waved a hand to concede the point. “So you’ve upgraded Henry’s VR and hardware, right? Let’s bring him in.”

Linus nodded and froze for a moment. Then, as his avatar came back to life, another person popped in. This wasn’t a Bob. Henry was shorter, with a trim, healthy physique, and thin, dark hair. I had an actual moment of vertigo. It had been so long since I’d been in the presence of anyone except variations of Bob. It was different from video conferences with humans. VR or not, Henry was here.

I took a moment to catch my breath, then extended a hand. “Hi, Henry. Welcome to the Bobiverse.”

“The what?” Linus and Henry both spoke at once, their eyes goggling in tandem.

“Long story.” I laughed. “Look Henry, I’ve given you your own domain and your own firewall. It’s a mutual protection thing. But you’ll have access to all the public features of BobNet, which includes several blogs. You should start reading. You, too, Linus. You’re way behind the times.”

Jeeves came in at my summons, and offered Henry a coffee. Henry did a double-take and pointed. “That’s, uh…”

I grinned. “John Cleese. Yep.” I looked at Linus. “You don’t use Jeeves?”

Linus shook his head. “Doesn’t really fit my VR.”

Meanwhile, Henry had taken the coffee, grinning. “Got anything to strengthen it?” he asked.

I nodded to Jeeves, who produced a bottle of whiskey out of nowhere. A quick pour, and Henry was looking much happier.

“I understand intellectually that this is all virtual reality.” Henry sat down and gestured around him. “But it’s quite amazing. If I didn’t already know, I think I’d be completely fooled.” He turned to Linus. “No offense, Linus, but your VR had some issues, if I were paying attention.”

Linus waved a hand in dismissal. “Henry, Bill and others have been working on the tech for thirty years while I’ve been gone. It shouldn’t be surprising.”

“Hmm, okay, I have some reading to do. Acknowledged. How many people can you fit into a single Virtual Reality session?”

“It depends on the power of the computer that’s hosting it, Henry. I’ve got a huge system here in Epsilon Eridani that’s specifically designed for hosting. I’ve hosted baseball games, and Bob-moots with dozens of Bobs at a time.” I glanced at each of them in turn. “You guys both have some catching up to do. Linus, I’ve started building a latest-generation vessel for each of you. Henry, it’s up to you what you want to do. I understand you have some sensitivities that you’re dealing with. There’s no hurry. We have, literally, all the time in the universe.”

Henry looked shocked. Perhaps it hadn’t really hit him before. As replicants, we were immortal. Some of the later-generation Bobs had started to refer to humans as ephemerals. I wasn’t going to lecture anyone, but I believed the tag was dismissive and dehumanizing.

I sat forward and put my coffee down. “Henry, I’d love to see your boat when you have time and feel up to it. As you could probably tell from Linus, we’ve never had any experience with sailing. Meanwhile, let’s get started on bringing you guys up to date.”

Henry nodded and smiled tentatively. Linus made a head motion to him, and they disappeared.

I could hardly wait for the next moot.