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Chapter 246 - War On Sh*t (1)
Chapter 246 - War On Sh*t (1)
Chapter 246: War On Sh*t (1)
The dark clouds in the sky slowly drifted.
The empty space here was silent..
As Chen Yu’s voice fell, everyone present seemed to have been struck by lightning. They all froze on the spot, unable to make any sound.
After a long while.
Duan Ye, who had the strongest ‘immunity’, was the first to regain his senses. “This… This is a f*cking idea from the yang realm?”
Ma Li also came to her senses. Her eyes flashed with a bright light. “Forget about the yang realm. This method seems to really work!”
“Are you guys questioning my wisdom?” Chen Yu looked down from above.
Everyone: “…”
“Then what are you still standing there for? A bunch of fish-lipped people.” Chen Yu shouted coldly, “If you don’t have enough intelligence, can’t you even do your work? Go and dismember the corpses!”
The students of Ma Li’s class quivered, and naturally accepted the command. They hurriedly picked up their knives and began to ‘disassemble’ the corpses of the exotic beasts.
“Not bad.” Putting away his longsword, Chen Yu nodded in satisfaction. “To be able to see through the difference in intelligence between you and me and recognize the identity of your coolie, you’re not someone who has high eyes but low skills. Not bad…”
Hearing this, the movements of everyone’s hands paused.
But after they exchanged a few glances, they pretended not to hear anything and continued to bury their heads in their work.
YYSY.
Just this ‘herd of beasts scurrying in thin air’ technique, they really had to give in…
Gradually, Ma Li calmed down from her initial shock and began to analyze rationally. “Cannibalism can indeed cause strange beasts to have diarrhea. But can they differentiate between their own kind and humans? How can they be fed smoothly into their mouths?”
“That’s right!” Duan Ye came to a realization. “If we force-feed them one by one, we might as well kill them as usual. It’s unnecessary to take off our pants and shit.”
Bahuang Yao raised her little head. “?”
“Do you know what happens most easily in a team?” Chen Yu suddenly changed the topic.
“What?” Duan Ye was stunned.
“That is, when this team has a wise man, the IQ of the others will become infinitely negative.”
Duan Ye: “…”
“I’ve brought the ball to the penalty area, swayed the defenders, shoveled the goalkeeper, and killed the referee who might be judged to be offside. All that’s left is the final kick. Don’t you all know how to kick?”
Chen Yu’s gaze was cold. “How is it different from the national football team?”
Ma Li: “…”
Chen Yu: “There are ready-made human corpses. Add their blood, intestines, and the like into it and mix it with the meat of the beasts. Isn’t that enough?”
Everyone: “…”
Chen Yu: “Even if we respect the dead, this is the end of the world, and the living have yet to be respected. Is there a need to care too much? In the end, as long as their bodies are left behind to be buried, it’s still considered much better than exposing their corpses in the wilderness, right?”
Everyone: “…”
Chen Yu: “After that, with so many of us, even if we have to pee and sh*t, spit and eat, it should be quite ‘human’, right? If it’s really not enough, we can still release their blood. Will the beasts not eat it?”
Everyone: “…”
Chen Yu: “Finally, the exotic beasts are chasing after the glowing objects. We have more than thirty fluorescent beads in our hands. We can randomly smash ten of them into powder and sprinkle them on the meat as seasoning. The color, fragrance, and taste are all present. The exotic beasts will eat until they explode, okay?”
Everyone: “…”
Chen Yu: “Will they not poop after eating it?”
Everyone: “…”
Chen Yu: “Will there be no beads after pooping?”
Everyone: “…”
Chen Yu: “There is so much sh*t in the morning. If I didn’t pick up a few hundred beads, would it be worthy of my godly wisdom?”
Everyone: “…”
The silence lasted for half a minute.
Ma Li stared intently into Chen Yu’s ‘focused’ eyes and said, “You… Are you really Chen Yu?”
“No.”
Chen Yu stretched out his hand and touched the top of his head that had been burned by the fire. “I’m the extremely smart Chen Yu…”
…
Kacha!
Kacha kacha…
An hour later, as the twenty fluorescent beads were crushed into powder, everyone’s busy schedule was coming to an end.
After scattering the fluorescent powder evenly on the pile of meat, Ma Li turned around and shouted, “Brother Yu, it’s done.”
In the forest, Chen Yu slowly came out after a short rest.
He still maintained his ‘martial arts’ state and walked around the meat mountain. After making sure that every piece of meat was ‘shiny and glowing,’ he said with satisfaction, “Have the flesh and intestines of those warriors been mixed in?”
“Yes, they have.”
“Where are your feces and urine?”
“…They have all been mixed in as well.”
“When did you mix it in?”
“About ten minutes ago…”
“About ten minutes ago…” Chen Yu narrowed his wise eyes. “Now, everyone, go and drink as much water as you can. Try to pee again after ten minutes.”
Everyone: “…”
“Next, it’s my turn to pee.”
After saying that, Chen Yu suddenly jumped high into the sky. Then, he aimed at the meat mountain below and took off his pants.
“Oh!” Bahuang Yao and the other female students covered their faces in horror.
Duan Ye, Ma Li, and the other male students widened their eyes. They stared.
“F*ck!”
“Is that a tail?”
“Is there really a leg between his legs?”
“F*ck…”
The night wind mixed with the drizzle made Chen Yu’s buttocks feel a little cold.
He flew in the air, thinking about the Great Dao of the universe in his mind. He was calculating quantum mechanics in his mouth, but a strange-colored water gun sprayed out of his lower body, and his right hand was shaking rhythmically.
Splash…
Drops of liquid floated down under the pull of gravity.
They were sprinkled on meat, and even the rain and dew were stained.
This was a beautiful scene that no painter could imagine…
Elegant.
Honorable.
Full of wisdom and cleverness, carrying hope and responsibility.
It overlapped with the dark background, corresponded with the dark clouds that covered it, and was in harmony with the wind, rain, and nature.
Together, they created a group of paintings that made everyone intoxicated.
The theme of the paintings was resistance.
And its name was art…
Plop.
When his feet landed on the ground, Chen Yu proudly revealed the last wisp of liquid. He trembled, quivered, and slowly pulled up his pants.
“…”
The scene was once again silent.
“In ten minutes, I’ll allow you to pee one last time before you start to act,” Chen Yu ordered. “Drink water!”
Everyone gradually came back to their senses. Under Chen Yu’s ‘coercion,’ they began to drink water.
Including Bahuang Yao, they had to keep drinking.
And the source of the water came from Duan Ye’s creation…
Taking cat steps, Chen Yu walked to Ma Li’s side and said, “You’re still a little smart. So, let me ask you a question.”
Ma Li: “Tons and tons of meat…”
Chen Yu: “Don’t drink it yet.”
Ma Li: “Tons and tons of meat…”
Chen Yu: “Let me ask you. Do you think the exotic beasts will eat this meat?”
“Tons and tons of meat…” Putting down the bottle, Ma Li swallowed the water and wiped her mouth. “The possibility is average.”
“Why?”
“Because it’s all beast meat. From the measurement, it doesn’t have too much of a human smell. Even if it’s sprinkled with fluorescent powder, it can only increase the attractiveness of the meat. I’m not sure if the exotic beasts will eat it. Even if they will eat it, it’s impossible for all the exotic beasts to eat it.”
“…That’s right.” Chen Yu nodded. “You were lucky enough to figure out a bit of my train of thought. There’s a future for you.”
Ma Li: “…”
“So, it’s better to add a bit of ‘human flavor’.” As he said this, Chen Yu looked at the tomb not far away and frowned slightly. “Duan Ye!”
“Ah?” Duan Ye, who was making water, raised his head in shock.
“Come here.”
“What’s wrong?”
“Did that Level 4 martial artist add blood, intestines, and the like to the corpse?”
“He… He’s buried…”
“Won’t you dig it out again?”
Duan Ye: “…”
“Go!”
Faced with Chen Yu, who was in Super God Mode, Duan Ye did not dare to retort. He quickly ran to the grave and dug out the corpse one after another to deal with it.
Chen Yu: “Bury it after you’re done.”
Duan Ye: “???”
Chen Yu looked up at the night sky and said faintly, “A wise man needs to be respected.”
Duan Ye: “…It’s too f*cking miserable to be respected by you.”
Ten minutes later.
Under the surveillance of Chen Yu’s wise eyes, everyone had no choice but to line up. First the man, then the woman. They all peed on the meat mountain.
Everything was ready.
“In the end, let me finish it.”
Looking at the meat mountain in front of him, Chen Yu’s eyes were sharp, like a phantom descending into the world. With a bang, he jumped into the air again! He was ready to take off his pants.
Everyone: “…”
“It’s the same peeing,” Ma Li muttered to herself. “Why are you so imposing…”
Bahuang Yao covered her face as if she was used to it.
However, it was different from the last time. This time, she actually slightly parted her fingers…
However…
As Chen Yu rose to the highest point, and he was about to descend and pull out his spear, the burning martial skill flames around his body suddenly extinguished.
Martial skill…
Disappeared…
His expression suddenly changed!
The force was infinite, but the force circuit that formed the martial skill could not be maintained forever…
Whoosh —
Both of his feet left the ground.
His IQ had once again taken over the high ground.
While falling, Chen Yu looked at the crowd below and at the belt that he had just untied. A sense of desolation swept through his entire body from the inside out.
“What the f*ck…”
“What are you doing…”
Plop!
Chen Yu fell heavily to the ground with his head down.
He did not move at all.
“…”
“…”
There was a moment of silence.
Duan Ye cautiously walked over, picked up a tree branch, and carefully poked Chen Yu.
Chen Yu still did not move. “…”
Seeing that Chen Yu did not react, he poked him again.
Chen Yu lay on the ground and waved his hand. “…Stop fooling around.”
After throwing away the tree branch, Duan Ye clapped his hands. “Alright, he’s back to normal. Everyone, disperse. Everyone, disperse.”
“What’s wrong with him?” Ma Li hesitated for a moment before asking Bahuang Yao.
The girl mumbled, “He… He should be in a good mood now.”
Ma Li: “…”
Lying down, Duan Ye leaned close to Chen Yu’s ear and lowered his voice. “You’re back?”
“Don’t touch me.” Chen Yu began to roll, trying to use his body to dig up dirt and bury himself. “Let me die, thank you.”
…
A hundred Li away.
Beijing Bird’s Nest Stadium.
Even though night had fallen, the moon was bright and the stars were sparse.
The stadium was still brightly lit, and it was extraordinarily lively.
Hundreds of thousands of spectators lit up the night, cheering and shouting as they watched the content on the huge screen.
On the sidelines, there were five professional commentators sitting, talking to each other in front of the camera.
“Now we can see that with the arrival of night, the contestants’ choices have become much calmer.”
“That’s right. Due to the cloudy environment, the visibility is very low. If you suddenly attack an exotic beast, it’s very easy to suffer a backlash.”
“That’s about it for tonight. Tomorrow’s topic might be more inclined towards snatching each other.”
“That’s right. Tomorrow’s dawn will be the time for the real battle!”
“Quick, look! Some classes that collect more fluorescent beads have already started burying the beads. Because there are too many beads gathered together, the light they emit is very strong. It’s easy to attract exotic beasts, but it’s also easy to attract enemies.”
“That’s right. In the dark night of the wild, light is the scythe of the grim reaper…”
“Everyone!” In the commentator’s seat, a fat commentator hurriedly said, “The image is showing Bahuang Yi’s class. They still haven’t stopped killing exotic beasts. Instead, they are using the luminous characteristics of the fluorescent beads to actively attract exotic beasts.”
“This is strength.” Another female commentator sighed. “Other than him, who else can brazenly slaughter exotic beasts in the dark night?”
“It seems that the champion has been decided in advance. Let us congratulate Bahuang Yi.”
“OHHHHHHHH…”
In the stadium, the crowd gradually boiled over.
“God Y!”
Dong! Dong! Dong!
“God Yi!”
Dong! Dong! Dong!
“God Yi!”
Dong! Dong! Dong!
The five commentators turned around to look at the stadium that had ‘exploded’ and laughed out loud.
“Now, the only suspense is how many fluorescent beads will be won by Bahuang Yi.” The fat commentator stretched out four fingers. “I think at least 400 beads.”
“400 beads? Although Bahuang Yi is the strongest, there are a total of 1,000 beads…”
“Definitely 400 beads.” The fat commentator was full of confidence. “As a professional commentator, I have this judgment.”
“No.” The female commentator shook her head. “In the world of warriors, you never know what will happen in the next moment. Perhaps God Yi will make a mistake and miss the championship.”
“Then you have big breasts but no brain.” The fat commentator pouted.
“What… What did you say?” The female commentator suddenly flew into a rage.
“Oh, I’m sorry. It should be small breasts and no brain.”
The fat commentator spread his hands. “I understand what you’re trying to say. Nothing is absolute. But the examples are too extreme. Bahuang Yi will not win the championship? You dare to say that?”
Hearing this, the other three commentators nodded their heads.
“Bahuang Yi will definitely win the championship.”
“No way, no way? Don’t tell me there’s really someone who thinks that Bahuang Yi is not the champion?”
“No matter which angle you look at it from, God Yi can only be number one…”
Hearing her colleague’s words, the female commentator shrugged her shoulders, speechless.
In fact, she also knew that the champion would definitely be Bahuang Yi.
This was because the highest level was only Level 4 in the high school competition. BahuangYi’s terrifying strength conversion ratio meant that they were destined to be no match for him…
“Let’s return to the topic from before.” The fat commentator looked at the camera lens and spread his four fingers. “400 beads. If God Yi can’t win against the second place with 400 beads, I’ll live-stream kissing the ass of the donkey.”
The surrounding commentators began to jeer.
“I’m looking forward to it.”
“I suddenly hope that Bahuang Yi doesn’t kill so fiercely.”
“Should we watch God Yi win the championship with a big score, or watch you kiss donkey’s buttocks? I’m torn…”
On the left side of the commentator’s seat, the female commentator was mocked. After feeling stifled for a moment, she suddenly said, “What if God Yi loses?”
“…”
The commentators turned their heads in shock.
The chattering commentator’s seat had a rare silence.
“God Yi losing? Ha, hahahaha…” The fat commentator opened his mouth wide and laughed so hard that his stomach could be seen. “If God Yi can lose, I’ll do it on the spot! I’ll eat this computer screen!”
“…”
With that, the hundreds of thousands of audience members suddenly fell silent.
It was as if the entire world was stuck.
The fat commentator was delighted.
He thought that his slanderous words had shocked the entire audience, but when he looked around, he realized that his colleagues were also stunned. They were all staring straight at the big screen.
“Oh?”
The fat commentator frowned. He subconsciously followed everyone’s gaze and his entire body trembled.
On the big screen, the originally dark forest suddenly became as bright as day!
A huge ball of light rose into the sky! It was like a new sun…
“This… This…”
Everyone was dumbfounded.
Including the big shots on the rostrum.
“What the f*ck is going on?!” Gou Sheng stood up abruptly, his eyes filled with shock. “Suicide?!”
Boom…
Rumble…
The next moment…
The world in the camera shook violently.
Tens of thousands of exotic beasts rushed toward the light ball crazily, roaring, and crying.
The entire jungle field was in an uproar in an instant!