The Wandering Inn

Interlude Niers

Interlude Niers

I cant believe it. I cant. Is it a message? A code? Were they just bored? Orsomething else?

Mm. I dont know.

It has to be something. It cant just be nothing. I have to know what it means.

You agree it means something, dont you? Foliana? Foliana?

The Squirrel-tribe Beastkin looked up. Foliana, leader of the Forgotten Wing Company, head of one of the Four Great Companies of Baleros, and world-famous assassin known as Three-Color Stalker, looked up. She was eating a plate of spaghetti. In a hot tub.

Foliana was a squirrel. Or rather, a squirrel with decidedly humanoid features but still evidently a squirrel. Just larger. She was of the Beastkin, the furred people of Baleros who resembled animals. Naturally, Foliana was of the Squirrel tribe. Her eyes were remarkable; the pupils were a mix of three distinct colors, bright red-pink, dreamy yellow, and clear green.

The rest of Folianas body was bland. In fact, so bland that she was often overlooked when people were standing right next to her. And if Foliana so chose, she could literally turn invisible. She wasnt invisible now. She was sitting in a hot tub, her fur damp, as steam rose about her. And floating across from her in the water, staring at a miniature chess board upon which spectral chess pieces sat was Niers Astoragon. The Titan.

He was a Fraerling, a race of tiny people. He was also the second-in-command of the Forgotten Wing Company and considered to be one of, if not the greatest [Strategists] living. He floated in the hot tub, staring at the chess pieces that until recently had been moving and playing a game of chess all without his involvement.

They played for over half a day and then just stopped. Dozens of chess games, all against themselves. At least, I think against themselves. The quality of their play was phenomenal. I cant imagine they had an opponent of that level.

Mhm.

Foliana slurped spaghetti off her plate. It was floating in a wooden bowl and she had a fork. The spaghetti had an ink-sauce that the Lizardfolk liked on top of it and there was a meatball.

If it seemed extraordinary that Foliana was eating spaghetti despite not having known of Italy or Earth for that matter, it shouldnt have been. After all, there were only so many ways to make pasta and meatballs were meatballs. It wasnt exactly rocket science.

Now, if Foliana had called the dish spaghetti, that would have been a lot of coincidences. But both she and Niers knew the dish as a Dullahan favorite called Damcli Noodles. With meatballs. It was just that anyone from Earth would recognize the dish as spaghetti if they were in the room. Which they werent.

It was Folianas second bowl of spaghetti too. She slurped up more noodles as Niers stared at the chess board, waiting for his mysterious opponent to make another move. He didnt seem to mind that Foliana was dripping ink sauce into the hot tub and the occasional noodle. Neither did she. She was eating spaghetti. Muffins were dead. Spaghetti was all.

I just dont understand. What do you think?

Niers looked up hopefully. It was his and Folianas custom to have a hot bath after a campaign. Theyd just finished a dirty series of skirmishes in one of the swampier regions of Baleros, which made the bath doubly important. Although Baleros was hot and humid, people preferred hot baths. It was a luxury and it provided several useful benefits if you had a bath Balerosian-style.

That meant the water was hot enough to scald, which meant it was hot enough to kill leeches and other parasites. And Baleros had plenty of bugs and objectionable things that liked to infest the body. So Niers and Foliana were bathing, as many did. Naked.

In Folianas case there wasnt much to see due to the fur. There wasnt much to see in Niers case, but that was only because he was tiny. Neither Niers nor Foliana was embarrassed or even conscious of their nudity, but it had been remarked upon. Foliana began to eat her meatball as she replied to Niers.

I think its weird that none of your students want to bathe with us. Mm.

Niers sighed. But Foliana had answered his question in her own particular way. He shrugged, letting his body sink down a bit more into the water. Fraerlings were natural floaters, given that there really wasnt much weight for them to sink with.

Theyre nervous. Even my oldest students dont want to share a hot tub. And I think you scare them.

Mm. Not all of them. Some didnt want to join us because of the naked thing. Why?

The tiny man shrugged.

Other continents dont practice mixed bathing. Or nude bathing. Or bathing at all, for that matter. It depends on the culture, but I dont think that bathing together is a custom in Izril, Chandrar, or Terandria.

Weird.

Only to us. Ive heard of foreigners insisting on wearing clothing into the water.

Why?

Niers grinned, forgetting about the chess board for one moment.

I think theyre afraid to see each others genitals. Especially Terandrians. I met a group of noblemen once who nearly fainted at the idea of seeing each other naked.

Why? Are they afraid of seeing something scary?

Or being seen, I suspect. The noblewomen were far more relaxed about the idea. They even invited me to join them.

Naked?

I suspect I was less threatening due to my size. Not that their husbands seemed to think so. Anyways, you wont get my students to join me. Half are too afraid Ill ask them a question they cant answer or youll stab them

Why?

And the other half is too embarrassed. A shame; I thought Venaz would join us at least, but Minotaurs are surprisingly prudish. Not about seeing each other nude, but he refused to get in the tub with anyone of the opposite sex.

Mm

Hes male.

Ah.

Foliana nodded and slurped from her bowl of noodles. She knew who Venaz was of course. Shed met Niers students who attended his [Strategist] academy. And she had a very clear image of the Minotaur in her head. But the fact that he was big, muscular, and had a deep voice hadnt helped her that much. He could have been a flat-chested female Minotaur. You never knew.

Niers realized hed gotten sidetracked. He scowled and paddled over to his chessboard, which had floated away from him in the hot water.

Enough about bathing. Back to the game. What do you think? About that.

I think its weird that your chessboard floats in the water. Mhm.

The Fraerling glared up at his old friend, but with resignation. Foliana had an odd way of thinking. It was circular and she bounced from idea to idea and was surprisingly stubborn about changing lines of thought.

Why? Its a practical thing, to have a floating chessboard. Especially if I want to play while bathing. Like now.

But everything you have floats.

That was true. Almost all of Niers possessions that were in any way valuable floated. His map case, his bag of holding, even his swords handle was made of highly buoyant wood that would allow it to float in the water. Niers grimaced.

Ive told you this before. Fraerlings like to make things that float. It rains in Baleros, if you hadnt noticed. And if youve lost your sword or something valuable, the last thing you want to do is dive into a freshwater sea eight feet deep and try to retrieve it while fish and frogs try to swallow you whole.

Mm. So you dont like ponds.

Im six inches tall. Of course I dont like ponds! Now will you tell me what you think about the game?

This game?

Niers splashed water at Foliana. She lifted her spaghetti bowl and kept eating, undeterred. After a few seconds, Niers began talking half to himself and half to Foliana.

You dont understand it. But you dont play chess. I do. Dead gods, people think I invented the game. But this? Look at this!

He waved a trembling hand at the chess board. Foliana looked into her bowl. It was empty. And the water was cooling. She decided she was done with her bath. She got out as Niers talked.

My opponenthesheitplayed twenty six games. All master-class games! At speed! Against themselves! Are they trying to tell me Im not on their level? Orwas this a demonstration? Are there two players of that quality in this world? Selphids tits, tell me there are.

Foliana paused in toweling herself off.

Selphids have tits?

Niers sighed. He rubbed at his face. He had grey and black hair and a sharp beard. And an irked expression. He looked up and glared.

Selphids dont have tits, Foliana. You know that. Youve heard the expression before.

Mm. Yes. But how do you know that?

Foliana waited, but she only heard a sigh.

Pass me a towel, would you?

The Squirrel-woman delicately picked up a tiny piece of fabric and passed it to Niers as he climbed out of the tub. She lifted his chess board up and set it on a table before doing the same to Niers. He industriously dried himselfhis towel was spelled to absorb moisture and made of the highest-quality cotton grown on Baleros.

Foliana was using a much cheaper towel. Shed probably acquired it from someone elses bathroom in the citadel. The former palace turned into living quarters for the Forgotten Wing company was their home when not on campaign.

Selphids look like blobs. You know that. They dont have tits. And yes, Ive seen that first-hand.

Lewd. Mm. What would the children say?

Theyre the ones that taught me that expression.

Niers looked around for some clothes and walked across his table towards them. He walked past his bed, personal belongings, and a small library of books which had all been arranged on the table Foliana was sitting at. Eating a third bowl of spaghetti. This one was flavored with pieces of seaweed and a pink, sweet glaze sauce to cut the saltiness.

So your mysterious opponent played a lot of games.

Yes.

And?

Foliana saw Niers glance at his chess board as he came back, throwing on a pair of leggings and hose.

And now someone else has a hold of it. An idiot, by the looks of things.

Someone was moving the magical chess pieces. Only, they werent playing a game with them. Many pairs of hands were piling up the chess pieces on top of each other. Niers sighed.

Someone else has the chess board. Damn! But who?

They were making a tower out of the magical chess pieces. It had to be children. Niers stared glumly at the board as the tower fell over and then was quickly reassembled. He shook his head. Foliana looked interested for the first time.

Looks like fun. Can I help?

No.

Mm.

The Squirrel Beastkin didnt look too disappointed. Because she already had a normal-sized chessboard and was piling up the chess pieces to make her own tower. Niers eyed it balefully but let it go. For now.

I just dont know what they were doing. They had to know Id see what was happening. Right? Or theyd do this with another chess board. Unless theyre too poor tono, theyd have sold the magical chessboard. This is a message. It must be. But what? It could be a code, but it was too fast for me to decipher. Or just a display of abilities? Maybe

Foliana paused in piling up a rook on top of her very tall tower of chess pieces.

Mm. You should stop.

Stop? Stop what?

Pacing. And acting lovesick.

She looked at Niers. He was indeed pacing around the magical chessboard, which was tiny compared to the duplicate hed had made and sent across the world to his mysterious opponent. Niers stopped pacing.

Im not lovesick.

Yes you are. This is bad. Worse than the time you travelled to Terandria. Remember?

Niers gritted his teeth and colored.

Id rather not.

It was when you thought there was a [Lady]. Mm. Who was a strategic genius. Remember?

Yes. Please stop talking.

And it turned out it was the Lord of the Dance instead?

The Titan turned beet red and shouted.

How was I supposed to know it was him? He never mentioned his name! And the stationary he sent me was perfumed!

Mhm. You were lovesick then too. You had flowers.

Niers Astoragon had made his enemies weep. Hed broken armies with nothing more than a quill and ink and a bit of bark to write on. Hed defeated one of the King of Destructions Seven and fought other Great Companies. But only Foliana could make him cover his eyes in sheer embarrassment.

It was a mistake. And this isnt the same.

Really?

For a second Niers contemplated going over to kick Folianas bowl of spaghetti into her lap. He looked up sharply and saw Folianas tri-color stare looking right back. That was the last thing many people saw. And Niers anger slowly subsided. Because Foliana didnt look like she was making a joke.

Go on.

The Squirrel-woman nodded. She slurped down a noodle and balanced a pawn at the top of her tower, which was several times Niers height. The magical chessboards tower kept falling over due to poor structural design.

You used to play chess with your mysterious mage friend from Wistram. You were lovesick. Or obsessed. Mm. Close enough.

Niers scowled darkly.

I stopped that.

Yes. After you found out it was half the mages in Wistram working together to play you.

It was fairly obvious after all the gossip started. Mages cant keep their mouths shut. Whats your point?

You could have kept going. But you stopped. Because it wasnt one person.

No. It wasnt. I thought it was Archmage Feor. He played the first few games, but hes not at my level. Not without using predictive magics and boosting his mind, I think. It could have been another of the Archmagesso what?

Youre lonely.

Folianas words made Niers pause. Then he shook his head.

No Im not.

Yes you are.

Im not, Foliana. I live in a citadel filled with people. I meet people all the time.

Subordinates. Other people. Not [Strategists]. Doesnt matter. Youre lonely. No one you meet is as good as you.

At chess? Thats not

At anything you do.

Niers fell silent. He stroked his beard silently, and Foliana went on. Her eyes were focused as she stared at Niers around the chess tower.

Youre lonely. You want to meet someone like you. But you never have. And youre afraid to meet this person or find out who they are. In case youre disappointed.

The Titan scowled. That was the problem with Foliana. She was vague one second, and then focused the next. Rather like how she operated in everything, actually.

What are you, my personal [Healer]?

Nope.

Niers sighed. He paced away from the chessboard and came back after a moment. He spread his arms, looking up at Foliana seriously.

Im fine. I have students. I have a career. We built this companyI dont want for excitement.

But youre lonely.

Yes, damn it! Will you stop saying that? What does it matter? You dont seem lonely and I know you dont have anyone in your life!

Foliana blinked at Niers.

It matters because youre you. You like people. You need people. I dont. Someday Ill retire. Go somewhere else.

Where?

Dont know. Cottage in the jungle perhaps. Be alone. I dont need people. You do.

Niers grumbled. He flushed, kicked the chess board and upset a lot of Cave Goblins across the world, and then gave in.

Fine. So what if Im lonely? I have my opponent. I can find out who they are. I just choose not to. I dont want to be spoiled. I want to have this and not have it ruined. Is that too much?

He pointed to the chess board. The chess pieces were righting themselves on the board, which had flipped back over. Foliana shrugged.

Not too much. But stop complaining.

She began eating again and Niers realized hed been talking to her all throughout their bath, and before that. And hed brought up his mysterious chess opponentwell, a lot of times. Hed probably talked for at least three hours this time.

Very well. Im sorry.

Good.

And I will be able to play more games soon, you know. I had a new board and pieces commissioned. It took a while, but this new Go game should be delivered to them soon.

Foliana scratched her head. The game of Go was sweeping across Baleros, in no small part thanks to Niers, whose love of the game had put a spotlight on it. It had even received attention from those who followed such things in other continents, although Olesms name had not been connected to the game. Niers had been inaccurately credited with creating the game. Again. And this time it wasnt even his fault.

Itll take a while for it to arrive. But Id bet half my fortune that it was my opponent who taught the game to this Olesm Swifttail to begin with. Its too much of a coincidence. I know theyre in Liscor, or thereabouts.

Foliana tilted her head.

Why will it take a while to arrive? You hired a Courier.

Yes. But I had to prepare several fake boards, send a bunch of duplicate messages, you know how it goes.

Paranoid.

Not at all. I am being watched and this would attract a lot of attention. Its a sensible precaution.

And fun.

The Fraerling smiled.

Immensely. I enjoy watching all the [Spies] and [Informants] scurry about and reveal themselves. And spreading gossip. I have a mind to send one of the Go boards to the King of Destruction. Although that might be too politically dangerous.

Mm. Send it to the woman with flowers.

Reinhart? Shed make it a talking point or use it against me somehow. Some people are too dangerous to play games around. Maybe Ill send it to the Wistram mages. With itching powder.

Okay. And youre not going to find out what the chess games mean? Or who your opponent is in Liscor?

Niers hesitated. He visibly struggled with himself, and then scowled at the magical chess board.

No. Not yet. But Liscor is on my watch list for other reasons. Here. Stop eating those noodles and look at this.

Niers gestured to Foliana. Then he eyed the tower of chess pieces shed built. He walked over and kicked the support rook out of place. The entire tower of chess pieces crashed down around him. Niers leapt out of the way as a pawn narrowly missed his head. The Fraerling breathed out shakily.

Jungle rot.

That wasnt very smart. Youre supposed to be smart.

Are you coming or not?

Niers stomped over to his collection of maps. They were quite large and not Fraerling-sized, which was to say Foliana-sized. That was because [Cartographers] willing to illustrate a tiny piece of parchment with a needle were rare and because Niers didnt mind the larger maps. He could walk over them and inspect them from every angle. The three-dimensional ones that were magical were even more fun.

A map of Izril was laid out on the table. Niers walked onto it and began pointing out details to Foliana. He had a number of pieces on the map. Pins and little flags with notes written on them. Small notes for Foliana, which meant big lists of details all in Niers neat handwriting.

You know they have a Goblin Lord over there. And that there was that attack on Liscor from the dungeon. Well, I have news about the Goblin Lord and the dungeon.

Dungeon first. Whats new? Another attack?

The Titan nodded.

Something like that. I havent received another letter from that [Tactician] in Liscor. Olesm Swifttail, I think. Neither have my students. And reports are spottythe Walled Cities are keeping a tight grip on thingsbut it sounds like somethings happening over there.

Monsters?

Niers nodded. He walked across the mountain range that was the High Passes and stared down at Liscor.

Id bet my hats on it. A Gold-rank dungeon next to a citys a recipe for disaster. And this ones a vengeance dungeon by all accounts. I wish I could see it

Go find your opponent while youre at it.

Niers ignored that. He studied the map and shook his head.

It cant be good. Especially since I heard a group of Gold-rank adventurers travelled from Pallass to Liscor via that door we saw. Amazing thing. Thats a useful treasure.

We have teleporter mages.

And thats a powerful artifact that can do far more than just teleport, Foliana. Id payno, never mind. Id never get it back here without it being stolen, Couriers or no. That poor [Innkeeper] will lose it soon, if not to Wistram then to someone else raiding her inn for it. Where was I? The dungeon. Somethings going on. It could be like the one we found, you know.

He looked up meaningfully at Foliana. She paused for the first time.

If it is, theyre dead.

Probably. I just wonder how my opponentno, forget it. Dont poke me with that fork. The second bit of news that I can speculate on is this: the Goblin Lords been defeated.

Really? I didnt hear that.

Foliana didnt pay attention to worldwide news. She relied on Niers to tell her everything, which was a wise move because Niers had a network of information that spanned the world. The Fraerling nodded.

The reports are that Lord Tyrion Veltrashes one of the foremost [Lords] of Izril, one of the Five Familiesassembled a massive army of Humans and assaulted them at a mountain. Here. And apparently he hired the Kingslayers team to help him defeat the Goblins. They chased the Great Chieftain and Goblin Lord out of the mountain and are pursuing them.

Oh. I did hear about that. One of your students was telling the others something like that.

Niers smiled, for a moment becoming a proud teacher.

Really? What did they say? Id be interested in knowing whoand how good their analysis is.

Mm. It was the Lizardgirl. Nervous.

Umina?

Mm.

Good child. What did she say?

Foliana tilted her head side to side as she thought.

Goblin Lords on the run. Lost a big battle. Apparently the Human [Lord] is very good. Atfighting? Leading? Strategy?

The Fraerling snorted. Trust Foliana not to remember nuance. Hed go ask Umina about her thoughts later. Make her paranoid about what he knew that she knew.

With Elia Arcsinger demoralizing the Goblins and an army larger than theirs at his back? Hed better win every battle. Thats not skill, Foliana. Thats just good preparation. Mind you, he hasnt engaged them yet. Hes running them away from their fortress. And thats curious because I know the man.

During the Second Antinium War?

Yes. I met him brieflyhe was youngerbut Ive been to a few gatherings. Always on Izril. He never travels. And I know reports of the man.

Does he like Damcli Noodles?

Niers looked up.

No. And I dont think he has a favorite food. I didnt care for him. Hes everything I dont like about Humans. Well, about every species that has men like that, really. But he is a good leader. He can choose when to fight and he hasnt engaged yet. There are a few reasons why that could be.

Niers studied the map. He traced the speculative arrows hed drawn leading away from the mountain and eyed the nearby cities. Invrisil, a section of the map hed planted a big flag next to and written Emperor? on in huge letters. Then he snapped his fingers and grinned.

Ah. I see what he might be doing.

Fast. Sure?

Foliana spoke around a mouthful of noodles. Niers nodded.

Its a good strategy. If its what I think hes doing. Id say its clever, too. It might work. And if it doeswell, we might get some work in Izril if things go really poorly. Or well. Otherwise, we wont be bothered. I doubt his enemies will notice it before its too late.

But you did. In seventeen seconds. Why?

The Titan sighed.

Because everyones an idiot? Or because Ive seen this before. A variation, anyways. I keep telling my students that part of good strategy is just experience. Everyone tries the same little tricks without realizing theyre doing the exact same things over and over again. Depressing, really. And people wonder why I drink.

Because youre an alcoholic?

The Fraerling raised a finger.

If the world was filled with an unlimited supply of any alcohol you wanted for a few silver coins, what would you do? Theres a reason why most Fraerlings who visit the city develop bad habits. You big people make things far too cheap for us.

Okay. Whats Veltrass plan?

Niers hesitated. He stroked his chin and wavered.

I have a theory. But Id rather not share it. Hold on. Let me write this down.

He searched around and came back with a quill and ink. Foliana watched him scribble on a piece of paper, writing large so she could see it. Then Niers bent down and folded the paper. He handed it up to Foliana.

You can open that in, oh, ten days time or so. And if Im righthey, stop that!

Foliana was already opening the paper. She ignored Niers throwing his ink pot at her and read. She nodded, her tail moving a bit with interest.

Hmm. Oh, makes sense. Hmm. Obvious when you think about it. This is good.

It was supposed to be a secret! I could be wrong, you know!

Niers fumed. Foliana shrugged.

Dont think so. Sounds right.

Well, give it back. Its no use now. I shouldnt have written it down without warding it anyways. You could be scryed.

Good joke.

Even you could be. Come on.

Niers held up his hands, but Foliana hesitated. She looked at the paper and then smiled slightly.

Wont. Im going to show all your students so theyll be really impressed. Theyll keep the secret, mhm. But be impressed.

What? Absolutely not! Give that back Foliana, right now!

The Fraerling leapt surprisingly high, but Foliana stepped back from the table and that was that. She retreated to Niers door.

Going to show them now. Bye.

She faded from view. But Niers knew she was there and he saw his door open. He roared in fury.

Dead gods damn it, Foliana! Give that back!

She made no reply. She was moving and Niers had known Foliana for so long that he could vaguely guess where she was. And where she was going. He leapt from his table, landing lightly on the ground and raced after Foliana. For a small person his voice was very loud.

Get back here! I could be wrong! This is my reputation on the line! Foliana! [Rapid Advance]!

He charged after Foliana. She ran through the citadel, and Niers students and his subordinates and staff were treated to the Titan running after his commander through the hallways, furiously shouting at her. But Foliana didnt slow. She ran on, smiling. And despite Niers escalating threats, he was smiling too. They were, after all, friends. So Foliana ran and Niers chased.

She was still naked.