Slumrat Rising

Vol. 5 Chap. 72 Hypocritic Oath

Vol. 5 Chap. 72 Hypocritic Oath

“Boy you are even crazier than I thought. And I thought you were batshit. The hell did they do to you?”

“Who?”

“Them. Those people. The ones who put all the worms in your brain.”

Truth raised a finger to rebut, remembered the System, and in a sudden burst of overwhelming guilt, turned his eye inward, trying to find that spot of nothingness that supposedly was the System. He had never really seen it before, but…

He didn’t see it now, either.

He turned his attention back to the doctor. “Strictly speaking, the only one who put worms in my head was me, but since I no longer really believe in free will, you will have to blame God by proxy.”

That made the doctor blink. “Wait, you do actually have brain worms?”

“More like soul worms? They aren’t entirely physical. Or at all physical. Honestly, I’ve never really tested them. Seemed unwise. Just to clear things up for you- I was sold a tonic second hand by a vendor who could only verify that it contained none of the toxins he usually tested for.”

Dr. Sun silently laughed. “Not the first time I heard that story.”

“And in fairness to the vendor, it did work. But enough about me, let's talk getting your face on an icon. I’m thinking you keep the basic structure of Praegerism, but present yourself as a sort of second coming or new prophet. You want to steal as much of that legitimacy as you can in the early days, while being very clear that you are now the only source of truth and safety in this increasingly insane world.”

“Oh, you’re serious. That’s tragic. Usually mass murderers like to think of themselves as God or doing God’s will. It does tie into your belief in predestination.” The gray head shook mournfully. “I see. That’s your excuse. The brain worms made me kill, torture, brainwash, sabotage, incite murder and casually rob. How could you blame little old me? It was God’s plan, enacted through brain-eating parasites.”

Truth rolled his eyes at that. “I am quite clear that I am not God. As for doing God’s will, a sincere commitment to that belief in predestination means that we are all doing God’s will, all the time. Which is a fun thought, when you play around with it a little.”

“I’ll pass.”

“Wise choice. Mostly I do the same.”

There was a lull.

“Seriously though, start a religion.”

“Why?”

“Because religions don’t really rely on any physical technology. It’s literally all a head game. We both see the slum. We see the rats. But what’s the solution? What’s the way out? There isn’t one… not for humans, or human-ish rats, anyway. The rats need to believe that it’s okay to stick your neck out for a stranger, to help each other out in the expectation that you will be helped when you need it. They need to believe it’s wrong to take more than you need while others are still needing. There needs to be the promise of the get-back, and the promise of punishment for misbehavior.” Truth tapped the metal tray he was sitting on. It wasn’t comfortable, but he still didn’t like his odds walking.

“Now and in the world to come.” Dr. Sun nodded quietly. “I see where you are going with this. Education is necessary, but more necessary is belief in something nobody actually believes in- human kindness. That there can be such a thing as a common good.”

“Exactly! And you know what makes people believe things that, on first look, appear to be completely contrary to their interests?”

“Never one for the tithing basket, were you?”

“I donated a small fortune to the Church of Preager actually.”

“In the form of explosives?”

“Stolen jewelry. Which I destroyed minutes later. But let’s not dwell on unpleasant things. Put your left hand palm up, slightly cupped, right at navel level. Right hand just above shoulder level, thumb and forefinger pointing up, other fingers curled in. Good. Now imagine you are explaining the evils of hospital billing to- okay, dial it back, dial it back two… three… eight notches. You know what? Imagine you are explaining why you like your toast a certain way. Let’s forget hospital billing for the moment.”

“Did you know we don’t employ humans in that department anymore? Demons kept underbidding each other to work there. Eventually they started paying the hospital.” Sun's expression was not simply cloudy, they were thunderheads.

“Horrible. Someone should do something. Someone with name recognition. Immense public good will. Someone who has a measurable impact on the population level, which is going to be a real issue in a hot minute.”

“I may have a God Complex, but I’m not mad enough to think I actually am God.”

“This and that are two different things.” Truth shook his head firmly. “You don’t have to be God. It’s better if you aren’t. You are the prophet spreading the true word. One day, your maker will recall you to His side. Until then, you are doing as you have always done- serving God and saving His people.”

“Why are you so on this? I know Incisive makes you play with people’s minds, but why this specifically?” Doctor Sun’s eyes narrowed.

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“Wanna see a magic trick?”

“You fucking said what, Boy?”

“A magic trick. I can make you furious in one sentence. I mean blindingly outraged. Against me, and maybe many, many other people. Even though you can’t rationally explain why you are so angry.”

“Huh. Alright.”

“If it is in our power to prevent something bad from happening, without thereby sacrificing anything of comparable moral importance, we ought, morally, to do it.”

The needle was at his neck in an instant. Truth hoped it looked like he trusted the doctor, not that he wasn’t able to react in time. Fortunately, the doctor did manage to recover himself enough to keep from puncturing through Truth’s throat and severing his spinal column.

“Of all the sanctimonious bullshit!”

“Is it?”

“You know damn well that people would take advantage! That the so-called moral person would just get screwed over.”

“I do, yeah. But notice the sentence said moral, ie yourself, and not ethical, ie a rule for all of us.”

“That’s worse, not better.”

“Well, what if we made it a rule? One for everyone, or at least everyone in the in-group. An ethical obligation, not a moral one.”

Sun growled, his hand clenching down on the long needle. Truth watched the battle play out in his eyes. Sun was pissy, vindictive, arrogant, and actually as smart as he thought he was. He was putting things together. A lot faster than Truth had, which was irritating.

“You would need a powerfully compelling reason for something so irrational. God’s command. Religious doctrine. It’s not irrational, it is an act of faith, a miracle of God’s creation and a sign of His infinite love for his children. Not all his children, obviously, that would be silly. But his love for those who have heard the truth and the New Revelation are eligible for all the blessings.”

Truth was impressed. He had seen and done an awful lot to figure all that out, but Sun got there in a couple of sentences. The old doctor read it on his face and waved it away. “It’s not a particularly new idea.”

“A very old one, in fact. So’s fire. Both still work. Universal empathy, maybe throw something in there about forgiveness, being cleansed of sin- the Praegerite Sin Eaters are serious business, and an idea worth stealing. Basically unmaking the current world order by changing the minds of the people.”

Sun looked at him a while longer, then started laughing. “You really are Hell Prince. You saw an apocalypse and thought “Opportunity!””

Truth spread his hands innocently. “What apocalypse? The old order isn’t dying, it’s just getting worse. Getting meaner and dumber for no good reason. They can’t even decide on a survival strategy. Have you seen how many contradictory plans for the post-collapse world are swirling around?”

“Yes. I’m part of four of them. Five, in a minute.”

“Oh? The people commissioning the autopsy have a bunker?”

“No, they are plan number three- mountain fortress. You are Number Five.”

“Ah. Ticket off-world.”

“Yes. For me, my concubines, children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, inlaws that I don’t mind, and ten thousand of my nearest and dearest friends.”

“Ten thousand?!”

“I am very sociable, you miserable little scrote. I’m only bringing my closest confidants.”

“Your damn immortality engine, you mean!”

“Which does make them very dear to me, as you might imagine.” Sun beamed.

“I can’t promise that. I’m not negotiating with you. I literally cannot. I have some confidence that the Shattervoid will evacuate me and a few others, but I have no idea if they were being honest about the mass population lifts. Frankly, I think they just wanted to motivate governmental level entities to get in on the blood hunt.”

Sun’s smile dimmed. “Mmm. Hope for the best, but expect the worst.”

“Besides, why would I? You aren’t being my new messiah.”

“The Hell is a messiah? But no, I’m doing you another favor. I’ll consider the religion thing. There is something there. It would work with backup plans one and three.”

Sun’s face shifted slightly. The madness that he had been hiding leaked out a little. “Did you really think you could hide your condition from me? I’ve spent this whole conversation cataloging every little thing that’s wrong with you. Boy, you are about to explode, and then the smear that’s left is going to grow tumors and make a whole new generation of murderous shits.”

Truth winced. He really had hoped he could hide it.

“Gonna fix me up?”

“I think you severely underestimate how much I hate you. And I really, truly, do hate you. I know all kinds of bullshit gets blamed on you, but there is a lot that you are accountable for. Hell, just in that lobby fight you must have killed a hundred men. I know for a damn fact you crashed that party barge and fed those people to the Ghul. Who you apparently are comfortable enough with that you can wander through their nests! I am privately convinced there are at least four figures worth of bodies hanging off you.”

He was leaning in now, saliva flying. “Your petty morality. Your petty empathy. You are on the side of the rats, and you will wave that banner from a mountain of their corpses. You hate the people who made the world this way? You want to tear down the system? How many bodies are you willing to put on that? How much time do you spend hunting them instead of clearing out their foot soldiers?”

“Not enough and too much, respectively.” Truth admitted quietly.

“Ever save a life? Even one single life?”

“Dozens.”

Sun recoiled like he had been slapped.

“You. Saved people.”

“Yes. In multiple senses of the word. Far, far less than I killed. But I did save some.”

“Well, whoop dee fucking doo. A serial killer, a mass murderer, a hypocrite revolutionary with pretensions of a conscience. I’ll play the hypocrite too. Why not? Won’t even be the first time today. I do want that ticket off-world, after all. So here’s what I’m going to do. Nothing. I’m going to do… nothing.”

“As I walk out the door.”

“As you walk out the door. Your body cultivation is half fried. All those spells you have built into you? They aren’t working right either. This building is already locked down by the Army, and Starbrite is on their way, if they aren’t already here. They are sending Frobisher, I believe, and if I know Starbrite, he’s bringing half the damn PMC with him.”

“Ah.”

“Yes. “Ah.” You are on the side of the rats? Run, little rat. Run! Run and hide!”