Re:life with Karmic Gacha (Modern Family)

Chapter 238: Halloween (2)

Chapter 238: Chapter 238: Halloween (2)

[Edward POV]

In the dimly lit gymnasium nearby, I stood alone, clad in a full kendo uniform that concealed my identity. The white coat, known as a Keiko-Gi, fit loosely around me as I adjusted the black hakama, the traditional pleated pants worn by samurai. Gripped tightly in my hand was a gleaming samurai sword, a weapon as deadly as it was elegant.

The air crackled with tension as multiple figures emerged from the shadows, their black uniforms blending seamlessly into the darkness, encircling me and leaving no place for me to run.

They wore protective covers over their faces, shrouding their identities in secrecy. The only sound that filled the room was the soft rustling of their movements.

With each step they took, the gravity of the situation intensified. It was clear that these were no ordinary opponents. They were highly trained, skilled in the art of combat, and determined to teach me a lesson today.

"Get him!" A menacing, yet childish voice bellowed from behind me. The imposing figures in black advanced towards me, their eyes filled with a fierce determination. Their movements were precise, their stances exuded confidence, and their intent was crystal clear — to overpower me and prove their dominance.

"Hey! This wasn't the plan!" I exclaimed, a mix of disbelief and laughter escaping my lips. In an unexpected twist, the adversaries charging towards me were not the formidable opponents I had anticipated. Instead, they were a group of pint-sized warriors, no older than five years old, brandishing their toy swords with fervor.

Undeterred by their diminutive stature, the chibi warriors unleashed their attacks with all the energy and enthusiasm their young bodies could muster. Swinging their plastic blades, they charged at me with a roar, their fierce determination shining through their innocent eyes.

"Come at me one by one!" I called out, struggling to maintain my composure amidst the adorable chaos. Blocking their playful strikes with my own foam sword, I took a few steps back, trying to keep up with their relentless assault.

Watching the spectacle unfold, the dojo master who had a similar appearance to Hiroyuki Sanada, chuckled with amusement. "There's no way for them to keep their cool when you keep taunting them," he remarked, shaking his head.

"Remember, keeping your calm is the number one rule of the dojo. But the rules don't apply to these kids." The kids were just here for their free lesson coupon after all. They weren't true disciples.

In the midst of the skirmish, I managed to save one of the young warriors from an imminent fall, grabbing onto his coat just in time when he tripped over his own hakama trying to hit me.

However, seizing the opportunity, the remaining kids seized their chance to overwhelm me. Their wooden swords rained down upon me, each strike accompanied by gleeful laughter. I managed to block all of them, except for one.

"Ouch! Mike Scott, I will remember that," I mockingly grumbled, shooting a playful glare at the mischievous child who had successfully landed a hit. With his victory secured, he promptly darted away, his mischievous laughter echoing in the air.

The sensei blew his whistle, abruptly halting the impromptu battle and bringing disappointment to the children. The Japanese sensei smiled, his wise eyes twinkling with amusement as he placated the boys. "Don't worry, boys. You can still enjoy playing with him since he has registered at the dojo today."

"Yeah, don't worry! I'll be back," I assured them, pointing at the cheeky kid who continued to taunt me, his tongue sticking out mischievously. "Make sure you're prepared for it, Mike!"

The kids' lessons were over, and they went back to their parents. Sensei Hamada, one of the true masters of the swords I had found living in California, walked towards me and abruptly grabbed my sword and wrist, looking intently at the ways I was holding the sword.

Impressed, he said, "You have outstanding reflexes and hand eye coordination. You said that you were a beginner before, but I can see it, you have been taught by someone. A master nonetheless."

He released my hand and walked towards the swords rack before taking out 2 real swords.

"It's useless for me to teach you anything. What you need right now, is a real life experience. What better way to do that, than to feel the blades on your skin yourselves?" He threw me a sword, and the second I grabbed it from the air, he had drawn his own sword.

*CLANG*

Our swords clashed together after I blocked his first attack, a sideway swinging of the sword. He smiled in satisfaction as I did, and said, "Great job. But I'm going to up the ante now."

*CLANG CLANG CLANG*

The sounds of our clashes reverberated throughout the whole dojo. At the side of the room, Agent Smith ate a jelly donut as he watched the entire battle with his keen eyes. Standing next to him was another agent, a little chubby but also muscular, codenamed Cobbler.

"Phew. That kid is scary." Agent Smith muttered.

Gobbler saw that I was becoming more and more at ease with the sword, and even managed to attack the master of the sword a few times. He nodded in agreement, "He really is. Should we just kidnap him and make him a living weapon instead?"

"We'd actually be committing an act of treason to the country if we do that. We're here to protect him under the direct order of the President. To kidnap the mission target is just like spitting directly into our President's face." Agent Smith replied casually.

After an hour long bout, I finally finished training with the master. I had several cuts on my arms, and a slash on my hakama, revealing a little bit of my leg's skin.

"That was...exhausting." I panted as I kneeled down on one knee while using the sword as a cane to keep supporting myself. Sensei Hamada said, "Nice first session. We will continue the training next week."

I held my fingers up and wanted to reject it at first, but when I remembered how fast I had sublimated the sword play knowledge I had from the gacha prize before, I hesitated and said, "I'll...be here."

"Oh right. My daughter told me to give this to you today." Mr Hamada smiled and took out a Snickers bar before throwing it to me. "Happy Halloween Edward Newgate. I look forward to seeing you again."

"Me too." I replied with a smile after catching the chocolate bar, ripping the wrapper with my teeth, and biting a huge chunk of it.

...

The day I had eagerly anticipated had finally arrived. However, I still had to wait until dusk for the celebration to officially begin. In order to pass the time, I decided to attend my sword practice session earlier in the day.

Unfortunately, the lesson concluded just before lunch, leaving me with approximately six hours to burn before the festivities. Returning home to occupy myself with work wasn't an option for two specific reasons.

Firstly, both of my houses were currently unavailable to me. Cam had requested that I vacate the villa by the cliff, as he had planned a surprise theme party there. As the best wingman in the world, I graciously allowed my father and Frankie to set up decorations in my old house and enjoy their time together, making myself scarce.

The second reason was that Phil had extended an invitation for me to join him and his family in the pumpkin carving tradition. They wanted me to experience this customary activity and had even encouraged Manny to participate as well.

Parking my Audi in the garage, I made my way to Phil's house. Despite the presence of numerous fans and paparazzi surrounding the property, Agent Smith had diligently ensured that they remained at a distance of at least 100 meters from me.

"ED! NICE COSTUME!" someone shouted upon seeing me in my kendo attire, which I had forgotten to change. "Are you wearing a samurai costume?" inquired a young fan, a 13-year-old girl dressed as a squirrel.

The paparazzis obsessively took my pictures, and it was spread all over the internet just a few short minutes later.

"No, this is my actual uniform. I just returned from practice. By the way, aren't you feeling hot wearing that costume while the sun is directly overhead?" I playfully remarked. However, instead of responding, the girls squealed in excitement, realizing that I was addressing them.

"Go home. Spend time with your family today. It's a holiday, and you should be with them," I casually suggested, prompting a disappointed reaction from them. "How about this? I'll give you all autographs or take selfies, and in return, you head back home?"

They eagerly agreed to the conditions, and after half an hour of fulfilling their requests, I finally made my way to Phil's house after picking up Vader from inside the house. At the same time, I also changed into a plaid shirt, brown khaki pants, and also a brown loafer. With my hair slicked sideways, I put on my smartwatch to finish my ensemble.

"Meow." Vader sat on my shoulder as we walked. I looked at her with disbelief and said, "You really are a lazy cat. I should've named you Garfield."

"Meow!" Vader protested while hitting my shoulder softly. As I walked into the Dunphy's yard, I saw Phil and Luke running around with pumpkins while Alex admonished them, "Dad! Seriously! No running with scissors!"

"Ow But–"

"NO BUTS!" Alex scolded Phil before taking the scissors from him. She finally saw me, but her attention went straight to Vader. "ED! VADIE~~! You're here!" Alex greeted us cheerfully.

Phil and Luke joined in. Phil muttered, "You're finally here! Luckily for you, we have just started– Wait a minute, what are you–"

Phil was confused when he saw my attire. Phil, who was wearing a similar plaid shirt, brown khaki pants, brown loafer, a smartwatch, and also had his hair slicked back, looked scrutinizingly at me. Alex held her breath, and whispered, "Come on dad. You got this."

Phil's eyes widened with realization, and he suddenly said, "You look..." Alex grew excited, anticipating a recognition of the resemblance. But her excitement quickly turned to disappointment as Phil added, "You look handsome today, Ed. Nice outfit, by the way."

Exclaiming in bewilderment, Alex interjected, "Ugh. Dad, he's your—"

"Shhhh," I interrupted her, placing a finger on her mouth. Startled, she looked at me, and I said, "Let him figure it out on his own. We'll see how long it'll take him. Also, gimme."

Rolling her eyes, she begrudgingly took out five bucks from her pocket and angrily handed them to me.

"Ed! Look, I carved my pumpkin into Alex," Luke said proudly, displaying his poorly carved glasses-wearing emoji pumpkin. I laughed and remarked, "That's the spitting image of her."

"What!?" Alex exclaimed in anger.

"I know, right?" Phil chimed in, causing Alex to turn baffled. She grunted, grabbed Vader, and stomped off to the house. Concerned, Phil called after her, "Honey, what about your allergies?"

"I have my meds! It'll be fine!" she shouted in response.

Once Alex was gone, Phil turned to me and asked, "So, Ed, which one of these will be the first scary pumpkin for you today?"

"I'll take that big one," I said, pointing to a large pumpkin in Phil's collection. "By the way, you're eating those, right? You're not going to throw them out later."

"Huh? Wh-Why—I mean, wh-what?" Phil stammered, confused by my question.

Luke answered for him, "Yeah, we do. It's pretty awesome. They usually stay in the backyard for a while, and then they start to smell, and then Dad will throw them out in the—"

"Luke, stop talking," Phil interrupted, sensing something amiss in my gaze. I looked at him with disbelief and a hint of disgust.

"So, you bought the product of a farmer's effort for who knows how long, only to put them on display and then throw them out," I remarked.

"Ed, listen. We are not the only ones who do this," Phil defended himself.

I scoffed and asked, "Phil, do you know how many pumpkins were purchased during Halloween last year?"

"Umm... It should be a lot," Phil replied, stammering.

"Americans purchased around 1.3 billion pounds of pumpkins last year. Out of that, 80% was thrown away after Halloween, which amounts to around 1 billion pounds of food being wasted willy-nilly," I explained.

"Do you know how many people 1 billion pounds of food can feed?" I asked him with a hint of scolding. He lowered his head and said, "I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize to me. Apologize to the pumpkins." I said admonishingly.

Phil and Luke turned towards the pumpkins and said, "We're sorry."

"Good. Now, teach me how to carve them." I said excitedly. Phil was confused and asked, "Wait, you're still doing it? What about all of that you just said?!"

"I'm not throwing it away. I'll mince them and make pumpkin pie with them tonight." I replied casually while I sharpened my knives.

"Now, how should I carve this?" I said as I looked at the plump, boulder size pumpkin in front of me.

...

[General POV]

In the Dunphy household, Claire peered into the backyard and was taken aback. She couldn't believe her eyes and asked Alex, "Wait, when did your dad clone himself?" Unaware of the situation, she mistook Ed for Phil due to his back being turned.

Alex, playing with Vader, answered, "That's Ed. He's impersonating Dad, but he doesn't even realize it."

Claire reacted with surprise, saying, "Huh." Then she offered, "Do you want me to help you pick out a costume for the party?"

"Nah, Finneas and I—" Alex began to reply before catching herself. She realized she was speaking to her mother and quickly corrected, "N-Nothing. I've already picked out an outfit. You don't need to worry about it."

Claire regarded Alex suspiciously before sighing, "If you don't want me to, that's fine. My daughter has grown up, and she doesn't need her mother anymore."

"Mom, that's not what I meant," Alex nervously responded. Claire smiled but then inquired, "Wait, where's your sister? Is she still at the hair salon? How long will she be there? She left at 8."

"I don't know. Maybe she went straight to Ed's villa to prepare for the party," Alex casually replied.

Meanwhile, in Maggie's Beverly Hills apartment, she found herself surrounded by a group of college girls in her living room. One eager blonde college freshman pleaded, "Please! Take us to the party with you!" She grabbed Maggie's arms, while another girl chimed in, "We're from the Midwest, and we've never been to these wild LA parties before! Please, Maggie!"

Maggie, feeling overwhelmed, responded with bewilderment, "Wait—Don't stretch my clothes. I'll ask him on your behalf, but I can't really decide if you guys can come or not." Maggie regretted sharing information about the party with her friends.

As Maggie attempted to call Ed, she silently prayed, "God, please let the Ed who answers have some humanity in his heart today." Unfortunately, Ed didn't pick up the call, leaving Maggie feeling helpless. She muttered another prayer, "You didn't have to make him reject my call if you couldn't answer my prayers. I already know his heart is empty."

In another apartment, Selena lay in bed, trying to take a nap while being bothered by a persistent blonde girl named Taylor. Taylor applied makeup, pretending not to notice Selena, and haughtily remarked, "Oh, Ed? I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were here."

Annoyed, Selena grumbled, "It's his house."

"Right, I forgot," Taylor responded, finally recognizing Selena's presence. As she applied her lipsticks, she acted innocent and said, "How about 'Ed, I miss you'? Ugh, that's too desperate."

"I thought you were still angry at him no?!" Selena exclaimed in frustration.

"I am. That's why I'm going to mess with his feelings," Taylor replied with a devilish smile. She continued contemplating, "Or maybe I should say, 'I have a boyfriend now.' No, that's not really going to work on him. He knows he's better than them. Come on, help me with my makeup. I need to make sure he'll be wide-eyed when he sees me. I want him to regret ever wanting to break up with me."

Selena rolled her eyes and grumbled, "Just apologize if you want him back. You know you're the one who messed up."

"Yeah, but I'm a girl. He's the one who's supposed to let it go," Taylor snarkily replied.

Annoyed with Taylor's behavior, Selena teased, "You know, Ed and I bonded quite closely when he came to the set."

Taylor shot her a glare and warned, "Bitch, don't you dare."

"You keep acting up, and I'm going to be the one asking him out," Selena playfully threatened.

Taylor scoffed, "Well, you can try, but you're only going to embarrass yourself."

"You know, we even kissed on the show. I could swear I felt some sparks," Selena started to say, but Taylor cut her off by hitting her with a pillow.

After venting her frustrations, Taylor returned to the mirror, and Selena, disheveled and disbelieving, decided to tease Taylor again, "You know, he doesn't really flirt with anyone anymore. What if he already has another girlfriend? Did you ever stop to think about that?"

Taken aback, Taylor stopped in shock and turned to Selena in anger, ready to retaliate. She ended up hitting Selena with a pillow once again. After finishing their makeup, Selena asked, "Did you really write a song about him?"

"Kinda. I never expected Leo to be the one who helped me find the melody for it," Taylor replied, putting on an impression.

Selena's jaw dropped, and she asked, "That old weed guy?"

"Yeah, but I guess he really has some brain damage. He doesn't even remember that he was the one who helped me," Taylor explained.

"Are you embarrassed to sing it in front of him?" Selena curiously inquired.

Taylor smiled innocently and said, "I don't know. I think he's hoping for it, but I'm not sure."

In Edward's villa, Cam stood in the living room, visibly frustrated. He shouted in a high-pitched voice, "NOOOO! How can you put the Chocolate River here? It's supposed to be outside by the Oompa Loompa candy trees!"

"And the balloons are supposed to be mylar balloons, not rubber balloons!"

"Where are the vendors? Why aren't they setting up yet?" Cam exclaimed, expressing his exasperation.

Haley cautiously approached her uncle and tapped his shoulders. Cam turned around, and his tone quickly softened as he saw her.

"Hmm, Uncle Cam. Don't be mad when I ask you this, but why is there an ice sculpture in the Willy Wonka theme party?" Haley inquired.

Cam squealed in frustration and tearfully replied, "I don't know. I don't even know why I agreed to do this in the first place! It's impossible to fix it now!"

In Edward's other house, Ted and Frankie were sitting at the dining table, with a lot of food in front of them. Frankie looked at her watch and asked with concern, "Are you sure Ed's coming? I know his practice should be over by now, but are you sure he knows about you wanting to have lunch with him?"

Ted was taken aback and replied, "Wait. I forgot to tell him. I'll call him to see where he is right now."

Ding Dong

The doorbell interrupted Ted just as he was about to call Ed. He smiled and made his way to the front door, saying, "That must be Ed. See, I don't even have to tell him about it."

Frankie chuckled and replied, "That's just pure luck. Next time, you should really inform him if you want to make plans. He's just like me; we usually plan ahead."

Ted smiled and shot a glance at Frankie as he opened the door. However, to his confusion, he was met by a tall man with a nerdy haircut and another shorter man wearing glasses instead of his expected son.

"Who are you?" Ted asked immediately, his guard going up.

"Hi, I'm Dr. Leonard Hofstader. I-I'm Edward's friend—no, acquaintance," Leonard said timidly, reaching out to shake Ted's hand. "And this is Dr. Gabblehauser. We're here today as representatives of Caltech."

Ted's confusion deepened as he shook Leonard's hand and nodded politely at Dr. Gabblehauser. "Representatives of Caltech? What does this have to do with Ed?" he asked, gesturing for them to come inside.

Dr. Gabblehauser spoke with a pleasant, joking tone, "Didn't you know about the papers your son has published? They've been the talk of the scientific community for days now. We thought we were already too late to recruit him, but I should've known that no one could get close to him without already being acquainted with him beforehand. Luckily, I brought Dr. Hofstader here with me."

Leonard smiled apologetically, but Dr. Gabblehauser hugged him by the shoulder and shook him to cheer him up. "Oh, don't worry about it. You're doing the right thing."

Frankie joined the conversation, walking toward the group. "Mind explaining to us what you mean by recruiting him?"

"Oh, right. It would be best if we take a seat before discussing it," Dr. Gabblehauser suggested. They all sat down in the living room, and Gabblehauser continued, "I'll be curt with you. We believe that Edward has much more to learn at Caltech than he would by continuing his high school studies. Let's face it, high school is already useless for someone at his level."

"We would like to offer Edward a scholarship to attend Caltech, and of course, you can set your own conditions," Dr. Gabblehauser stated.