Death, Devotion, Dissonance

Chapter 98 - Feelings

Besides, his attention was drawn to a more immediate problem in his hands.

'Yes, definitely. It shouldn't be so easy to use a spell like that,' Phel thought as he supported Arza's weight in his hands.

Even with a brief glance, Phel noticed countless wrongs on Arza's body: his breathing so rough and labored Phel almost imagined him dying; his skin way too hot that it even briefly startled Phel; every pore in his body seemingly sweating out every bit of moisture inside; his bloody wounds and overall, wrecked body.

Phel quickly pulled out a Talisman of Healing and put it on Arza's body. He then created warm water through magic and bathed his body with it, while also letting the red-haired boy sip it occasionally. Phel didn't know how the boy did it, but even while unconscious, Arza would greedily gulp the water that Phel put in his mouth.

Seeing Arza like this, once again, Phel's mind was reminded of the period when he did nothing but hesitate as things deteriorated but by bit.

He should've fiercely opposed Decatur when he started mention revenge against Evin. He should've at least tried to have an honest conversation with Dec, to try and make him realize whether something so extreme and violent like that is necessary. Even before then, Phel should've spent more time with Dec, so he didn't fall into such a state of mind in the first place. 

'But I did nothing.'

Compared to that, Arza began to work on saving Evin the moment he heard he was in a predicament. Even at such a cost to his body and having to reveal the fact that he possessed a Conditional Absolute, Arza took action without extra thoughts. 

It didn't matter if Arza just didn't think so deeply about the consequences in the first place. He knew what he wanted and he knew what he needed to do to achieve his goals. Everything else was irrelevant.

Such an Arza shone so brightly in Phel's eyes, he even momentarily forgot about Evin, who was still fighting inside the room. A part of Phel's mind was even telling him that there was something more than just admiration and respect in what he was feeling inside.

Phel knew he was always curious about Arza, but the feeling intensified manyfold during the previous half an hour he spent with the other. At this point, he couldn't ignore or deny those feelings. After all, the symptoms were all there.

Many times, Phel spent evenings and nights with his friends, who would gush out to him about their crushes or loves. After listening to the same talk over and over again, Phel started to see some common patterns to people who harbored feelings for another: focusing on their positive aspects, feelings of empathy, finding joy in common interests or goals, thinking that they're more special than others.

During those moments, Phel often wondered whether he could find these signs in himself, but he found that his feelings toward his female friends were rather dull. Sure, he cared about each and every one of them, but he could never really feel something more than that. 

But for Arza, Phel could see all the signs sprouting in his mind. His heart ached seeing Arza look like this; and when he hurt others, even putting a hole through one's palm, Phel tried to see it in a positive light…

In the first place, Phel always found himself more interested in his male friends… but of course, those guys always loved to talk about which girls were best in private environments.

At that moment, Phel began to suspect that there was something wrong about him. Of course, in the kingdom's high society, such a thing wasn't very well received. Everyone even seemed to actively refrain from talking about it. The only reason Phel was familiar with the subject was because he heard about the same sex couples of the Eastern Oasis. 

Thinking of the stories he heard about them, Phel instinctively held his hands towards Arza's cheek.

As he was stealing a cheeky caress on Arza's cheeks, a giddy feeling took over his heart, making it hard for him to breathe evenly. But feeling the sweat pouring out of his body, Phel's mind was brought back to reality.

'What the hell am I thinking of in the middle of a fight?' he thought suddenly, shook his head, and focused his hearing on the other side of the ice wall. It was almost scary how quickly he was able to switch his state of mind. 

"You'll have to get through me if you want to escape," someone was saying. Phel recognized it as Byron.

"Fuck off!"

The next moment, Phel felt a loud impact crashing into the wall of ice, which immediately shattered it to pieces. Phel desperately shielded Arza from the stray pieces of ice, while getting his feet moving.

Once again, Evin made a dramatic entrance, but this time he had come with Byron, whose body was covered in bloody wounds all over.

Phel's mind imagined the worst, but this wasn't the time to worry about this. 

"Why aren't you out of here yet?!" Evin screamed when he noticed that Phel was still right outside the corridor.

Although he was shouting, he still picked up Arza and the two began to run away. Phel also realized his mistake, but knew that apologies were useless here and instead focused on running as well.

"Can you make a boulder big enough to block the corridor?" Evin asked as they were reaching the end of the corridor.

"Yes!" Phel replied and scrambled to find the correct Talisman from his bag. 

"Then you do that!" Evin replied, and Phel heard the sound of an explosion coming from behind him.

At this moment, a glaring… scorching light filled the entirety of the corridor. 

Phel's skin was burning under its effects, and he could tell that it was the same for Evin and Arza next to him. Stinging pain came from every bit of exposed skin he had, and an acidic, rotting smell seemed to be coming from everywhere. Phel was fearful that it might be them that were emitting this foul smell.

"Burn out of existence, you murderer!" Decatur's crazed laughter was coming from behind them.