Death, Devotion, Dissonance

Chapter 64 - A Future

As Evin ate and spoke with the two, he learned his guesses weren't completely baseless. And his negative impression on Terrence solidified further. The man wasn't dumb, but he was vain and he was way to prideful of the achievements of his Duchess. He spoke as if he was the one ruling over the northern duchy instead of the woman just because he could quote a few lines of the founding king Judeus, or the Empress's representative, Two Tales.

Evin even began to wonder why the Duchess even bothered to keep the man as his secretary, but the mystery was solved when Terrence explained that his father was in the same squad as the Duchess herself, when she was sent to fight against the South.

Terrence spoke of how his father sacrificed himself to save the Duchess's life and asked her to take care of his children. It was a tragic story, but the way Terrence said it grated on Evin's nerves to no end. The man didn't care for his father's sacrifice, he only saw it as a convenient sob story that painted him as a victim of war.

And Evin could see how much he talked about these stories, because of the way Leanne reacted to them. Her laughter was half-hearted, her eyes fleeting and bored, a clear indication her mind was somewhere else. If she held affection towards her husband, she didn't show it on the outside. She spoke to him as if she was speaking to a withering old fool who wouldn't stop talking about his glory days.

Seeing Leanne like this, Evin felt his affection towards her burning up again. He thought he'd already given her up, but something about this encounter brought it back to life. It didn't take Evin long to understand why.

'He doesn't deserve her.'

The thought began to fuel his rage towards Terrence and his love towards Leanne. Countless plans started formulating in his head.

'I could sow discord between them to make them divorce faster. But how would I do it without them realizing? I'll worry about it later. And when they divorce, I can be the one who will offer Leanne the emotional support she needs… Wait. In that case, it would be even better if they divorce when I'm older. 15, when I finally become an adult. Maybe 14 at the earliest. It's not really rare for commoners to marry at 13. Three years… No, two years and eight months. I can't wait that long.'

Caught up in his future, Evin barely noticed what Terrence was saying. Just like Leanne. The thought made him strangely happy, as he felt it was something common he shared with her. And when the meal finished, Evin reminded Leanne that she asked to meet him privately. Leanne, of course, agreed, and the two went towards her study.

Once inside, Evin resolved to confess to her. He knew that Leanne really didn't see him as a man, but he decided that it was time to make her see him differently tonight.

The only thing he was worried about was the Voice. It stayed relatively silent throughout the dinner, only speaking when Evin initiated the conversation. But even then, Evin could tell that it wasn't interested in talk. Evin could also tell that the Voice was silently opposed to Evin's potential relation to Leanne. It never said so explicitly, and it even encouraged Evin sometimes, but Evin was sure that it didn't like it deep down.

'It doesn't matter. The Voice can take over my mouth and body to do things that I wish to do,' he thought unconfidently. 'It won't be able to stop me from confessing.'

Leanne offered Evin to sit down beside a tea table and asked if he wanted something to drink. Evin agreed and watched as Leanne prepared a pot of black tea.

"What did you want to talk about?" Evin asked.

"Oh, nothing important. I just wanted to know what happened with the talk with the Cosmics," Leanne said apologetically.

"Just that?" Evin asked.

"Just that. But when you came to our house, I didn't want to turn you away… but I also didn't want to speak about the Cosmics in my husband's presence. Sorry for wasting your time."

"No, no. You don't have to apologize," Evin waved his hands before himself. "And the talk with the Cosmics went good… it just took way too long. Rith said she'll start teaching me from tomorrow."

"That's good. And I'm sorry to hear you stuck in talk with the Cosmics," Leanne smiled sourly.

"What did the Cosmics do to you anyway?" Evin asked, feeling that the atmosphere was right.

"Ah," Leanne sighed, grimacing. "I had some debts to the Cosmics five years ago, and I made the tragic mistake of not paying on time. The little devils were happy enough to make life hell for me during the following month," Leanne shuddered. Then, looking at Evin, she reminded, "If you must sign a contract with the Cosmics, then make sure to discuss each and every single point beforehand. Especially what would happen if one side somehow fails to achieve the agreements under said contract."

Evin was curious about those contracts, but he was more interested in another thing.

"How did you end up in debt?"

"Nothing serious," Leanne shrugged with a faint smile. "Just a dumb mistake. It wasn't enough to kill me, and I was lucky enough to be able to afford making mistakes at the time."

Evin wanted to ask more, but all of a sudden, the previously cheerful atmosphere seemed to have dissipated. Evin didn't know how it happened, but he could only guess that it was because of his question.

He cursed inside, but outwardly; he maintained a concerned look. He hoped that Leanne would speak further, but he could see him that Leanne wasn't going to confide in him. The logic in him reminded that it was because he was a child, but Evin decidedly killed that thought.

But as he was struggling to clear the weird atmosphere, the Voice spoke.

<You know, if you confess to her now, I'm sure she'll accept you.>

<What?> Evin asked back.

<Two reasons. One small and the other big,> it began. <She absolutely hates her husband. If it means slighting him, she wouldn't even mind dating a 10-year-old like yourself. Sure, she'll be shocked at first, but I'm sure things will at least have a chance to develop. This is the small reason.>

Evin listened to its reasoning, and wondered why it was being so supportive all of a sudden. Well, it wasn't like the Voice wasn't supportive before this, and perhaps Evin was just overthinking some things.

<The second, more important reason, is because she fears you,> the Voice's tone turned more and more mocking with each word. <I realized it after taking the history classes on the Era of Twelve Calamities, but there are a bunch of ancient relics and magics that have unpredictable and destructive effects. You've heard the story of one cursed ancient notebook that doomed an entire race to its extinction, and let loose those twelve unsurmountable beings in the world, right? Teouka then also mentioned a few other stories regarding relics and artifacts of unknown origins and almost all of them ended in a tragedy.>

Hearing the voice's words, Evin started to realize what it was trying to get at.

<I'm guessing that Leanne thinks that I'm some kind of ancient magic. It actually explains most of her behavior. Why she was acting so scared of you before she got to know you better and why she would be willing to betray the Chairman, a high-mage of the kingdom, in favor of you, a random nobody.>

<She's not like that,> Evin replied unconfidently.

<You give others too much credit. Just because she's an adult, doesn't mean she knows what she's doing,> the Voice shrugged off Evin's argument so easily and freely. <She fears you, Evin. Well, technically, she fears the ancient thing inside you, but you get the point. She believes that if she offends you or doesn't obey you, you'll kill her.>

<No, I won't. And she doesn't think like that.>

<You've seen her acting fearfully towards you in the morning, Evin. You're not blind and you're not a fool. And besides, it's a good thing for you, isn't it? > the Voice laughed. <Just ask her out. And although she'll be shocked and confused at first, she'll choose you in the end. Maybe she'll ask for a day or two to think about it, but that's even better. More time to think means more time to fear.>

Since Evin wasn't replying, it continued.

<Of course, it won't be all love and passion at first. In fact, it'll most likely be terribly awkward for you two. And of course, you'll give her the time to think through everything. Sort her feelings out. After all, you're not a barbarian that forces women against their will,> the Voice made sure to say those last words as clearly as possible.

<But, give it maybe half a year, and she'll finally start seeing you as a man. She'll bring you on dates, you'll get to know each other better, she'll grant you your first kiss, and eventually she'll bed you. You two will hide it all from the rest of the students and the teachers, but isn't that romantic? The budding of a forbidden love. But of course, you won't have to hide forever. Eventually, you'll turn 15, you'll propose and you two will get married.>

Evin envisioned the future the Voice described, of an eventual marriage with Leanne… but it all felt wrong. She wasn't going to be his because she loved him. She was going to be his because she feared him. Because she feared what he would do if she refused.