Death, Devotion, Dissonance

Chapter 230 - Defeat

A few minutes of struggling on the floor, Bellaslayn's head cooled off a bit. She tried crawling through the floor at him like some rabid, disabled dog; but only ended up isolated in the middle of the room. Tried throwing small spells at him, but they were of little use. She then cried and punched the floor at her helplessness, though she never really wailed.

Now, she was only feeling shame, and feeling guilty because of it. Were her feelings for Evin this shallow? That after a little tantrum and a little crying, she'd start concerning herself with how she looked in front of his murderer?

She didn't know. 

But the most hurtful thing was that he was still looming over her, silent and still. There wasn't even the sound of metal clinking anymore.

Bella didn't want to look up to find him looking down on her with mocking eyes. With any eyes, really. 

"I always wondered why a mage's first instinct in a fight or flight situation is to act as if they're still human. Always, their bodies move first before their core, even though their core's stronger than anything their bodies can muster."

Bella then felt her body turn light and a strong gust of wind hitting her from the bottom. She briefly floated before ending up on her bed again. 

"Guessing it has to do with our roots. We were still animals a million years ago… though, I guess that doesn't apply to Alvox, being made by the Empress and all."

He was making pondering face, but soon shook his head, as if saying he was done with those thoughts.

"Sorry, it's a bad habit of mine to talk to myself."

He walked towards his seat again and started playing with the metal puzzles. Didn't look like he planned to leave.

Bella grabbed the blanket and silently covered herself with it. 

She thought of pretending she was alone, but knew it wasn't going to help. She could ask him questions, but it felt so pointless. What was she supposed to do? 

She didn't know.

Someone knocked on the door. 

"Come in!" he answered.

Bella peeked out of her blanket. Maybe it was the Mage guards. If Bella asked them, surely they'd get rid of this monster for her. In the worst case, it was her father… but, he should help her, right? No, considering him, he should be walking around with at least Komarokh. Their job was to protect her father, so he wouldn't be alone. 

If she revealed everything about how there was someone else controlling Evin's body, someone should come to arrest him. Even better, he'd be turned into a lab rat, suffering every day until his days come to an end. 

A boy, no older than 7, came in holding two cups. He was dressed well, but nothing too fancy. 

"Your, uh, black awakener, lord mage."

The latter put a silver coin on the boy's hand.

"Here's some extra copper," he said and gave the boy a handful.

"Thank you, Lord mage."

"There were some older kids eyeing you when you talked to me. Maybe hide the silver," he said and shooed the boy away. "Now go along."

The latter looked confused, but walked away without more words.

It was disturbing, seeing how naturally a 10-year-old boy acted like a grown man. Evin sometimes tried to act mature, but that was just that. Acting. For this new… persona, the performance was far from fake.

"It's called coffee," he said some unknown word. "Or wait, do they call it the Black Awakener? They surely need a better name than that… Anyway, it's not really famous yet, but people will start enjoying these soon enough. Perhaps in a year or two. You want a taste? Get a head start on the trend?"

He approached her bed, and offered the cup. Bella held out her hand, and when he put the cup on it, she threw it away. The cup didn't shatter, nor did its contents get spilled everywhere.

"Your loss," he shrugged as he picked up the cup and scooped up the floating liquid in the air.

"Leave!"

He sat back on his chair and started drinking. 

"Mm… I always used to argue with Evin. You know, when I was still a voice in his head. It was especially bad when he wasn't yet a mage. At that time, I didn't know I could Imagination cast, you see. Didn't even know what it was, really. So, of course, Evin could only see me as… an unwanted parasite. Something that made him a lunatic in others' eyes.

" 'Get out of my head!', he'd shout randomly, and 'Thwack!' came his father's fist. He even tried to threaten me with suicide once. A case of mutual destruction, if you will. I don't even remember why he did it now. Probably something stupid and childish. Like making me shut up.

"Ah, this is making me sound like I was some insufferable asshole. I really kept myself silent most of the time. Only spoke when I thought I absolutely needed to. I had the best intentions, really. I never told him the wrong things. The right wisdom, the right choices, the right people, the right actions… Of course, I never expected him to actually listen. Kids don't work like that."

His voice cracked a bit at the end of that sentence. He smiled. Swirled the cup a few times in his hand and gulped it in one go. 

"Please leave," Bella's voice was almost non-existent.

He spared her a glance. Noticed the tears in her eyes, her sniffing away the snot, and the incessant shaking of her body. His expression did not change much. It only looked a hint sadder.

"You know, if I truly cared for him and wouldn't have minded doing anything for him, I'd have kept myself shut. Let the boy live out a normal life. Without the worries of a voice sitting inside his head. I'm not someone like that. Me sitting here talking to you is living proof of it."

He picked the other cup and cast a little spell. The liquid inside blew steam. Smiling wryly, he took a sip.

"But a selfish little part of me says that… me being Evin as he went through all that… nonsense, maybe it helped a little."

He went silent. His breathing quivered. So did Bella's.

She closed her eyes. She didn't want to see him. He wasn't crying. 

"Haa-ah," he sighed deeply. 

Sounds of him getting up entered Bella's ears. He came close-by, and with a 'thud', put something beside Bella. 

"You can call me Endra."

With those final words, he walked out of the room. 

It took courage for Bella to open her eyes. When she did, there was only herself, and the cup of black liquid that Endra left for her.

She picked it up, and took a gulp. 

An unfathomably bitter taste permeated her mouth. She almost spat it back out when she tried to swallow it one go. 

"Who- cough, would drink this- cough, willingly? Cough, cough."

She put the cup back down, but a second later, something about the bitter taste made her drink it again.