Death, Devotion, Dissonance

Chapter 214 - The Future

Twelve seemed satisfied, knowing Endra wouldn't go against her instructions. Endra, of course, was not going to take the Aspect's words lightly. Especially when she made her warning so obvious. 

'Bah, all those useless fortune tellers… A prophecy should be something like this, crystal clear with no room for misunderstanding. If I go to outside the kingdom, I'll die. Awesome.'

Twelve got up, patted the dust off her clothes and spoke. "Well, I'd love to keep you company for longer, but we're both busy people. Stay safe and enjoy Alvox."

Endra also got onto his feet. The metal one almost gave up on him, but he managed to keep himself standing. Absorbing mana, he granted himself some strength.. 

"I'll be on my way, then."

Honestly, Endra wanted to stay and talk a bit more, but he made sure not to overstay his welcome. He nodded to Twelve and made his way outside.

Outside the house, Endra looked at the odd mix of blue and dark gray. He still couldn't get used the ketricite plain. It was a bit better than the World of Souls, but it still felt unnatural to look at. 

On his back, Twelve was talking to her servant in Eastern. Endra couldn't tell what they were discussing. Eventually, the servant nodded and destroyed the house behind them. Pieces of wood scattered across the ketricite plain. Then, before Endra could say anything to them, they left through a portal. 

"I guess she really was in a hurry…" Endra murmured. 

He suddenly felt a bit regretful, since their conversations were only ever about abstract, almost-business-like topics; but he supposed he should feel happy enough to have gotten acquainted with an Aspect. 

He looked around himself once again, sighed, and started walking. 

Many thoughts swirled inside his head as he walked through the ketricite plain. Although his destination was set, he still had to think about how he should get back. If he wanted to get back to the kingdom as fast as possible, he could go towards Nevernight city and ask a Cosmic to send him home. 

However, Endra was never going to take that path. He wanted to delay the trip as much as possible. At least he wanted to get there at a reasonable, but slow pace. However, he didn't want to dally outside the kingdom's border due to Twelve's warning.

He decided to rush towards the Third Cataract after he passed the ketricite field. He would take a day to descend down the kingdom. Altitude sickness only affected people who suddenly lacked oxygen, and almost never the other way around. Although he wouldn't make a free dive down the three-kilometer waterfall, it was okay for him to walk down it in one go. He figured the effort would take about a day as well.

After passing the waterfall, he'd find his way towards the nearest town or village, and hire a carriage. It was going to take him a long time, but he was excited at the prospect of traveling the kingdom's north. Eventually, he'd end up in Ankelite. The long journey would also grant him a lot of time to properly think things through.

But before all that, he needed to make one important decision. 

'Should I take over Evin's life or not?'

If he allowed his weakness to take over, he would simply disappear. Leaving no trace of him behind. That would be the most comfortable choice. Twelve did say that he was allowed to do whatever he wanted as long as it's inside the kingdom's borders.

That way, he wouldn't have to have difficult conversations with others; wouldn't get the look that the worst murderers got; wouldn't have to worry about his secrets being exposed; and most importantly, he'll get to start his life from a clean slate.

Of course, by doing so, he'd be putting a great, perhaps even everlasting, burden on Evin's close ones. Lora and Bella would be especially devastated by his choice. 

'But to be fair, they'd be devastated no matter the choice I make…'

A slightly better option would be to remove himself from Evin's social group in a low-key, but final way. Of course, he'd confess the truth to Bella and Lora, but for the others, he can just abruptly remove himself from their lives. And it wasn't even that difficult for him to do that. 

He simply needed to reveal that he could cast portals. After that, he'd either be put to work on the frontlines, or he would be a teacher for the kingdom's future mages. Either way, he'll be put far away from Evin's circle of friends. 

'By doing this, I'd still be Evin in the eyes of others, but I wouldn't have to worry about people noticing my drastic change of personality...'

Another option would be to embrace Evin's identity completely. He'd start talking like Evin, he'd start acting like Evin, he'd start moving like Evin, and eventually, he'd be Evin.

It was the safest option, and it wasn't going to restrict Endra's freedom that much. He could still slowly change his behavior to how he acted originally. On top of that, he could freely study the things he preferred. 

Lastly, Endra could publicly declare his secrets. He'd reveal that he was a mysterious entity sharing Evin's body, and finally, he was victorious in his killing Evin's consciousness. He'd embrace his sins.

Obviously, Endra wasn't going to do something like that. 

'I know I'm badass, but not that badass.'

Endra arrived on top of the little ketricite hill and looked around. Finally, he saw colors other than gray and blue and felt relieved, but he regathered his focus and searched for signs of people. Finding nothing, he started to walk down. 

'Now that I think about it, what do I do with my life now?'

Endra thought the answer would come to him immediately, but he found himself needing to stop and properly think about the question. 

'I can't be experiencing a quarter-life-crisis at the age of 310 or whatever the exact number is…'

Soon enough though, the definitive answer came. 

He needed to become immortal. Or if that doesn't work, learn what the hell true death meant and die in that manner. In essence, his motivation was simply to avoid turning into a wandering spirit. 

"Sounds terribly… meh… now that I think about it… Eh, whatever. I'm sure I'll find something to occupy my mind soon enough," he murmured and resumed walking.

Despite his 'terribly meh' life goal, Endra wasn't worried. He knew that if he just lived his life for a few weeks more, he'd find himself something to strive for. He still needed to meet that Heralt person that Twelve mentioned. 

Endra didn't know why the Aspect asked him for something like that, but surely, it wasn't because she was worried Endra wasn't making enough friends.

'Well, whatever it is, I'll know when I meet him.' 

And for the time being, he could plan his future while assuming he'd become immortal somehow at the end of it.

He felt regretful he with how little he really talked to Twelve.

"At least I should've asked her how I can become immortal… Do I go beg the Empress? Or do I have to become an Aspect of a World? That seems rather difficult…"

Wondering about his future choices, Endra headed back to the kingdom.

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