CEO's Runaway Mate and Her Cubs

Chapter 428 Human brain

Ebony listened carefully, asking a few questions on the way. She collected enough information and finally understood the matter.

«You feel the connection, but you don't understand it,» she said.

Differently from Lara's psychologist, she didn't hit around the bushes, trying to make Lara realise on her own. She had no time and experience for that. Moreover, there was no way Lara could understand something she didn't know.

«Your body feels the effects of the Moon, of the pack, of the situations... You act following your instinct, but then, after it's all done, your consciousness tries to make some sense out of it. And fails. That's where the panic attacks come from. Or, at least, I guess it's because of this.»

«How... How do I heal from it?»

«By understanding wolf instincts. You feel part of it, and I can help you recognise when the Moon Goddess's blessing is active and when it's your human wish. Because you have your own, as well. It's not all forced from the Moon.»

«Oh, okay,» Lara muttered. «It makes sense.»

«Let's take your first panic attack as an example. You felt the excitement of the battle through the link to the pack and your mate. When he was back, you were so happy he won that you wanted him close. You wanted to celebrate because it was a victory, even though you didn't witness it. Not directly, not through your eyes. Then, once it was over, you had a panic attack.

Your mind and body tried to explain the feelings and desires, and they failed. Which made you like this: frightened, worried because you think there's something wrong with you when, in fact, there is not. Your reaction was pretty normal, a signal that you are not a psychopath but a reasonable human woman.»

«So... It's like that. And what about the reaction to alcohol? I wasn't a heavy drinker before either, but how can I change so much when Nate is involved?»

«I don't know... I guess the alcohol enhanced the link. It breaks your barriers and defences, and you forget later because it's easier than a panic attack. Thanks to the drink, your brain can find a way to... to forget.»

«Oh, what a pity,» she sighed.

While she talked with Ebony, Nate listened in silence. His brain, though, was filled with everything but hush. A thousand ideas crossed his mind, and even more worries formed and dis-formed.

The worst of all was about what would happen once Lara understood the link. If she could discern when she was driven to him and when not, she could recognise her genuine feelings. What if she didn't feel what he did?

For her, the soulmate link was nothing. Just an imposition. To him, it was all. There were no parts of it that could be split and analysed.

But to Lara... She would have realised that she didn't love him as much as she thought.

What if she left after that? He couldn't tell her anything because his fears were stupid, but they were also real.

What if... Oh, what if she brought the pups with her? That would have been even worse. He would have been alone once again. Experience new stories on empire

As if hearing his thoughts, Lara turned to Nate and noticed his face. She blinked, surprised.

«Hey,» she said, reaching out to his hand. «Everything all right?»

He moved his gaze on their joined hands, wondering whether that gesture was an illusion, like everything else.

He shrugged, unable to answer her question. With him, everything was kind of all right. What worried him was her and her decisions.

«Seems like it's not the alcohol that intoxicates me,» she chuckled. «It's your charm.»

He nodded. What was he supposed to answer, by the way? Was she serious? Was she flirting?

What in the world was happening with them?

«Nate?» she said, confused by his reaction. Was he even listening?

«What will you do?» he asked, finding the courage who know where.

In the end, he needed to know. First of all, to ensure the pups stayed with him. Secondly, because he had time. He could organise something... He could convince her, somehow.

Even if she didn't feel as enamoured as he did, she could stay because it was comfortable.

«I'd like to try,» she replied.

«Try?»

Try what? Travelling the world, far from him? Leave without anyone noticing, just like she did that fated night of six years before?

Try to feel real feelings towards him, not just those wolf-ish that weren't hers?

«I'm not sure it'll work. I'm too worried to hope, Nate. I'm afraid of how I would feel if it didn't work.»

Then why try? He wondered what was there to be afraid about travelling the world. He would have given her anything she asked, including the means to fly away from him.

But, judging from her complex expression, they weren't thinking of the same thing.

«What if I don't remember a thing?» she said. «I'll feel like a failure.»

«You're not a failure,» was the automatic response. But then, he realised. She was afraid to try remembering.

Not knowing what had happened was a big deal. They had children after their night together, and the fact that Lara didn't remember did hurt his pride sometimes. However, if she tried to remember and failed, it would weigh on her self-esteem.

Like that, not knowing a thing, she didn't seem to care much about the details. Still, he thought, it was worth a try.

If there was a chance to remember, he would have taken it. Their first encounter had been magic and was one of his favourite memories. Even while he was alone and depressed, he would smile at the thought of that night.

It would have been only fair if Lara could have known all of it.

Their relationship would have been fairer, too, more balanced. They would stand on equal ground, and they would more easily build something more out of it. Maybe, he hoped, she could even accept to marry him.